You know it has happened to you “ you’re out with friends and from out of nowhere a guy appears, looking to buy you a drink or get your phone number. And you have no idea who he is or where he came from, and worse, he’s not a guy you would ever give your number to. The flip side is probably on your experience list, too “ you see a hot guy but no matter what you do he can’t seem to get the message that you’d like him to approach you. Of course, women are accused of never saying (or signaling) exactly what they mean but this is just not true (ha). If sending confusing signals has been a problem lately, check out the list below and see if any of these mixed messages are going out.
If a guy is casting admiring looks your way and you’re not interested, don’t start flipping or twirling your hair, or turn your body toward him as you chat with friends, or play with your necklace, or engage in any of that flirty body language you’re probably so good at (yes, you.) If you are using your body language and sending confusing signals to a guy, don’t be surprised when he misinterprets it and starts sending drinks your way.
Smiling is polite and often a smile is just an instinctive reaction when eye contact is made. And please don’t take this as a suggestion to stop smiling “ just keep in mind that too much smiling can make guys think there is some interest going on there. Smiles can be interpreted as sending confusing signals because they are a welcoming sign on anyone’s face, and probably makes your beautiful face look even prettier to him. Smile once but don’t keep it up if he’s not someone you’d like to chat with later.
It’s natural to make eye contact with plenty of people when you are out for dinner or with friends at a club. But repeated eye contact, just like smiling, is sending confusing signals. If you continue to make eye contact with that guy who is gazing at you, don’t be surprised when he makes his way over. If you’re not interested, make an effort to not make repeated eye contact with him.
This article is beginning to sound like it should be titled How to be an unpleasant person, but remember these tips revolve around trying not to send confusing signals, not how to act in every day public. Let’s face it, if you are out at a club it’s not unnatural for guys to assume you might be there hoping to meet someone (them), so they are on the lookout for your signals. So again, remember it’s the reoccurring friendliness that can be confusing to guys. Eye contact, smiling, being friendly if he walks up and says hi are totally fine, but being super friendly toward guys is just sending confusing signals, and if that’s not what you’re looking for, try not to do it.