Avoid Dating Guys With These Jobs

Dating a gainfully employed guy, well, that’s a plus. But not all jobs are created equal. To help you out, we have compiled a (tongue-in-cheek!) list of job types to avoid, as well as their more advantageous alternatives:

1. Record Store Clerk
You’ll initially be intrigued by this guy’s devotion to indie music and his encyclopedic knowledge of bands no one else has even heard of yet. Unfortunately, he spends most of his salary on actual CDs for his collection. In his spare time he’s hand-pressing fanboy buttons to wear on the strap of his ratty messenger bag. Like CD sales and the music industry itself, this guy has a bleak professional and financial future.

Alternative:
Find yourself a pirate. Not Johnny Depp, but more of a Sean Parker-type Pirate. The thrill of making out with a illegal downloader who flaunts the law will be hotter than the flames of the cigarette butts your broke Ex used to smoke. Plus, the money your pirate saves not paying for music means he’ll actually be able to afford the astronomical concert ticket prices for the Rolling Stones final final tour. (Irony acknowledged, and accepted.)

2. Author (aspiring)
He let you cut ahead of him in line for seconds on the boxed chardonnay at a book launch, and isn’t a guy who says he is taking some time off to ‘work on his novel’ so intriguing? No! He’s essentially sitting at home with a foolproof excuse to surf the net all day in search of ‘creative inspiration’ (porn), spends long hours in coffee shops working on ‘character development’ (hitting on baristas), and he never has to actually produce actual pages of written material because he is an ‘artist’ and ‘sensitive to criticism’. You’ll end up devoting more time to helping him apply for writing grants than he’ll ever actually spend writing that Great Canadian Novel. Snore.

Alternative:
If you insist on picking up men at literary functions, try a guy who works in magazines or ad sales. Charming for a living, they often wear actual suits to work, and best of all: they have expense accounts!

3. Police Officer
A man in uniform, so hard to resist. But do your damndest, because all you need is a high school diploma to get a job in law enforcement. This means he’s just smart enough not to be bored with the hours and hours of sitting in a squad car, but not smart enough to be a life-long Trivial Pursuit partner. Not only will this guy work terrible hours, but he sees so many scary things that he’s crazy overprotective – cute at first, but you want a partner, not a parent.

Alternative:
If you have a thing for a guy with a badge who saves lives, the professional fireman ticks all the same boxes (ahem), minus the deadly weapon. He’s just as physically fit as a police officer, but he uses his biceps for carrying people to safety, not wrestling drug dealers to the pavement.

 

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Tags: ad sales boyfriend, author, firefighter boyfriend, indie band boyfriend, magazine boyfriend, overprotective boyfriend, police officer, record store clerk, Shannon Christie, worst job types, worst occupations to date

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Comments

  1. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    this article is the most ridiculous thing I have read in a while… completely wrong.
    Police Officers are required to know penal law, federal law, vehicle and traffic law and how to write reports for incidents like homicides. They are required to be able to testify in front of a grand jury/lawyers/judges and are responsible for peoples freedom and have the power to take it away.
    Police officers are also Americas first line of defense in preventing terrorist attacks
    what part of that screams “un-educated” ?
    I am a police officer, and I leave home everyday never knowing if ill be coming back to it…I took this job because I love to help people, I love to lead people, and I LOVE catching the people that hurt others..but I guess were all allowed to have an opinion..
  2. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Ive been single most of my life,dated men of all professions. Dont date cops. While they can be intelligent and well educated thats not the norm. Most of them attended just enough college to get the job. Ive dated 3 over the last 20 years. 2were running around on other woman and the other date raped me. After that I did a little research, police have roughly 4 times the number of arrests 4 domestic violence. Even with that many arrests they have roughly 1/2 the rate of actual convictions. They know how to work the system and they all stick togather. These are people who are comfortable with violence and will use it to get their way.
  3. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I am a police officer and i needed a four year degree just to get the application to apply. Then i needed to pass a physical agility test, written examination, oral interview in front of a police board, psychological testing, polygraph testing (lie detector) and medical prescreen testing. Then they score you based on these and put you on a list according to score then you get hired based off that.
    all police have to do all that testing regardless of where you are. Most police where i’m from need at least a 2 year degree.
    this article is wrong for the most part.
  4. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I think the author meant it all as a joke; otherwise it would be major stereotyping! I took the article as a joke and wanted to comment that it’s well written, the part about the firefighter’s arms vs. the use of the police officer’s arms. Amusing!
  5. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I really enjoyed this article and found it pretty funny – the alternatives were amusing. My father is a cop and both he and my mother have told me not to date them. Although, you got the information a little wrong, in most places police have to have some college credits and in order to advance, a degree. While the article is generalizing, if ladies really can’t resist a guy in uniform, go for one higher up in the department. Advice about the record store guy: GOLDEN 🙂
  6. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I have to disagree with you a lot because my best friend is a police officer and loves his job!! He is also married to a lovely women who just so happens to be one of my best friends to. He is a kind gentlemen and is perfectly fine!!! I would rather date A police officer than anyone else. Ya sure he is a very protective And caring person but I would Rather have him be protective than not care at all. Just saying don’t judge a book by it’s cover..
  7. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Ive been single most of my life,dated men of all professions. Dont date cops. While they can be intelligent and well educated thats not the norm. Most of them attended just enough college to get the job. Ive dated 3 over the last 20 years. 2were running around on other woman and the other date raped me. After that I did a little research, police have roughly 4 times the number of arrests 4 domestic violence. Even with that many arrests they have roughly 1/2 the rate of actual convictions. They know how to work the system and they all stick togather. These are people who are comfortable with violence and will use it to get their way.
  8. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I am a police officer and i needed a four year degree just to get the application to apply. Then i needed to pass a physical agility test, written examination, oral interview in front of a police board, psychological testing, polygraph testing (lie detector) and medical prescreen testing. Then they score you based on these and put you on a list according to score then you get hired based off that.
    all police have to do all that testing regardless of where you are. Most police where i’m from need at least a 2 year degree.
    this article is wrong for the most part.
  9. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I think the author meant it all as a joke; otherwise it would be major stereotyping! I took the article as a joke and wanted to comment that it’s well written, the part about the firefighter’s arms vs. the use of the police officer’s arms. Amusing!
  10. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I really enjoyed this article and found it pretty funny – the alternatives were amusing. My father is a cop and both he and my mother have told me not to date them. Although, you got the information a little wrong, in most places police have to have some college credits and in order to advance, a degree. While the article is generalizing, if ladies really can’t resist a guy in uniform, go for one higher up in the department. Advice about the record store guy: GOLDEN 🙂
  11. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I have to disagree with you a lot because my best friend is a police officer and loves his job!! He is also married to a lovely women who just so happens to be one of my best friends to. He is a kind gentlemen and is perfectly fine!!! I would rather date A police officer than anyone else. Ya sure he is a very protective And caring person but I would Rather have him be protective than not care at all. Just saying don’t judge a book by it’s cover..
  12. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    on a funny note,
    the advertisment I got was for police recruitment.
  13. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I often thought that police officers would be a great catch – until I dated one. He was totally nuts and really hurt me. My friend is a fireman and he has warned me against dating both police officers and firemen. I’ve been told that firemen and police officers are the worst players – and my experience concurs with this.
    I work with teachers and they are extremely condescending – if you are not a teacher, you are simply not as intelligent as they are (both the men and the women). On top of that – they are probably the biggest cheaters – after all the ratio of males to females in the teaching profession is really in favour of the men – they can have their pick of women … and they do.
    Financial advisors are next on my list. Quite frankly I think the blue collar guys are probably the most decent. But then who knows, maybe all men are jerks and it isn’t fair to blame the professions – maybe it’s just the breed.
  14. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I think people are taking this article waaaaaaaay too seriously. The writer even says it’s tongue in cheek; lighten up people! Cops are the butt of jokes all the time (hello, Police Academy).
  15. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    So glad the majority seem to agree on this one. This article is the biggest load of BS I have ever read. I am married to a police officer and work with police officers every day. These men and women all require post-secondary education and an EXTREMELY long hiring process to go through in order to become a police officer. I would be surprised if some beefed up high school drop out made it through the first round of testing. My husband has a degree in business marketing from a prestigious University and is an amazing, smart and well-liked police officer. Ms. Christie, you clearly need to get your head out of your you-know-what and write something with a little substance and research behind it.
  16. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    My husband is a police officer, he is one of the most intelligent people that I know; he has integrity, wisdom, and can think on his feet. He is also caring , compassionate and able to see the humour in a situation. To make such a general comment about any profession is irresponsible. Think a little further outside your experiences if you want to write articles that do not offend some folks.
  17. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I read your article about the type of men a woman should avoid dating and a Police Officer being one of them. What makes you such an authority on dating.  As a former Police Officer I have had the opportunity to cross paths with numerous “so called” professionals who didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. All they knew was what a book supposedly taught them. They have no real life experiences. If you think all cops are uneducated drop outs then I would suggest that the next time you need one to call upon your rich, macho body builder friends to find your stolen car.
  18. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Wow! Amazing article! Date someone who downloads illegal music? Do I need to explain this asinine logic? Don’t date aspiring authors? How else will someone become something if they don’t aspire to be? Don’t date a police officer because they’re not smart enough? They sit in a squad car all day? Come on, really?! I think Shannon watches too much tv and believes all the stereotypical BS.
  19. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    As a chemistry major I don’t think it was fair for you to basically say that police officers are dumb. I personally am planning on becoming a police officer after I am done university because it has been what I have always wanted to do.
    Next time do some more research before you write your article…. or add in some words like ‘some’ or ‘most’.
    Also… the profession doesn’t make the man. The job someone has doesn’t define them as a person.
  20. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    You don’t know what your missing 🙂
    Hi Everyone,
    Being married to a police officer, I couldn’t tell how you couldn’t be more wrong 🙂
    Not all police officers are only high school educated! Most of them, in Canada anyways, have post-secondary education, it’s actually a requirement before being hired. The thing is with your article, is it demeaning to police officers, place yourself in their shoes when you read the article.
    They are very courageous men and women who keep us safe and deal with the stuff no one else wants to deal with without a 6 figure salary; so the heart and motivation is there.
    I would rather have a man beside me that is able to tackle a drug dealer than one that cannot. And by the way, because of the ‘crazy’ things they see and deal with on a regular basis, many of them are more understanding, compassionate and sensitive to others.
    For those of us who have cops as husbands, brothers, sisters, friends, we know how great they are and how caring each one of them can be!
    Thanks for reading and I would encourage you in your future article entitled: TRY DATING GUYS WITH THESE JOBS….to list a police officer on top of your list 🙂 You don’t know what you’re missing …
    With much love and respect
    Cheers,
  21. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    on a funny note,
    the advertisment I got was for police recruitment.
  22. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I often thought that police officers would be a great catch – until I dated one. He was totally nuts and really hurt me. My friend is a fireman and he has warned me against dating both police officers and firemen. I’ve been told that firemen and police officers are the worst players – and my experience concurs with this.
    I work with teachers and they are extremely condescending – if you are not a teacher, you are simply not as intelligent as they are (both the men and the women). On top of that – they are probably the biggest cheaters – after all the ratio of males to females in the teaching profession is really in favour of the men – they can have their pick of women … and they do.
    Financial advisors are next on my list. Quite frankly I think the blue collar guys are probably the most decent. But then who knows, maybe all men are jerks and it isn’t fair to blame the professions – maybe it’s just the breed.
  23. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I think people are taking this article waaaaaaaay too seriously. The writer even says it’s tongue in cheek; lighten up people! Cops are the butt of jokes all the time (hello, Police Academy).
  24. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    So glad the majority seem to agree on this one. This article is the biggest load of BS I have ever read. I am married to a police officer and work with police officers every day. These men and women all require post-secondary education and an EXTREMELY long hiring process to go through in order to become a police officer. I would be surprised if some beefed up high school drop out made it through the first round of testing. My husband has a degree in business marketing from a prestigious University and is an amazing, smart and well-liked police officer. Ms. Christie, you clearly need to get your head out of your you-know-what and write something with a little substance and research behind it.
  25. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    My husband is a police officer, he is one of the most intelligent people that I know; he has integrity, wisdom, and can think on his feet. He is also caring , compassionate and able to see the humour in a situation. To make such a general comment about any profession is irresponsible. Think a little further outside your experiences if you want to write articles that do not offend some folks.
  26. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I read your article about the type of men a woman should avoid dating and a Police Officer being one of them. What makes you such an authority on dating.  As a former Police Officer I have had the opportunity to cross paths with numerous “so called” professionals who didn’t have a clue what they were talking about. All they knew was what a book supposedly taught them. They have no real life experiences. If you think all cops are uneducated drop outs then I would suggest that the next time you need one to call upon your rich, macho body builder friends to find your stolen car.
  27. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    Wow! Amazing article! Date someone who downloads illegal music? Do I need to explain this asinine logic? Don’t date aspiring authors? How else will someone become something if they don’t aspire to be? Don’t date a police officer because they’re not smart enough? They sit in a squad car all day? Come on, really?! I think Shannon watches too much tv and believes all the stereotypical BS.
  28. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    As a chemistry major I don’t think it was fair for you to basically say that police officers are dumb. I personally am planning on becoming a police officer after I am done university because it has been what I have always wanted to do.
    Next time do some more research before you write your article…. or add in some words like ‘some’ or ‘most’.
    Also… the profession doesn’t make the man. The job someone has doesn’t define them as a person.
  29. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    You don’t know what your missing 🙂
    Hi Everyone,
    Being married to a police officer, I couldn’t tell how you couldn’t be more wrong 🙂
    Not all police officers are only high school educated! Most of them, in Canada anyways, have post-secondary education, it’s actually a requirement before being hired. The thing is with your article, is it demeaning to police officers, place yourself in their shoes when you read the article.
    They are very courageous men and women who keep us safe and deal with the stuff no one else wants to deal with without a 6 figure salary; so the heart and motivation is there.
    I would rather have a man beside me that is able to tackle a drug dealer than one that cannot. And by the way, because of the ‘crazy’ things they see and deal with on a regular basis, many of them are more understanding, compassionate and sensitive to others.
    For those of us who have cops as husbands, brothers, sisters, friends, we know how great they are and how caring each one of them can be!
    Thanks for reading and I would encourage you in your future article entitled: TRY DATING GUYS WITH THESE JOBS….to list a police officer on top of your list 🙂 You don’t know what you’re missing …
    With much love and respect
    Cheers,

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