You know you should never let a man dictate your mood, but it’s easier said than done, especially when you really like a guy. It’s a lot easier to trick him into thinking you’re not totally hung up on him than tricking yourself into believing it. So how can you stay emotionally detached when dating a (or several) really great prospective partners? It’s all about keeping your options open – and actually believing that you have other options. Follow these steps and you’ll always be in charge of your heart.
Don’t over think it. This is a biggie. Not over thinking the new relationship allows you to live in the moment when you’re with him. Then you can have fun, be yourself and not worry about where it’s going or what he’s thinking. When you’re not with him, pine for him all you want – but know that the idea of him in your head is likely way more perfect than he actually is (and becoming more so by the minute). He’s just a dude, after all. He sweats, smells bad, and chases girls just like all the rest of ’em. Who knows? He might even turn out to be not at all your type.
Believe you’ve got other options. It’s a big world out there, there are a million ways to meet people, most of them probably looking for a date. It’s believing it that is the hard part. Keep your agenda stocked with fun social events to look forward to, keep accepting invites to events and parties, and never let yourself believe that you have to rely on him to have a good time. He’s just one option of a bunch. Make like an in-demand socialite!
Talk about it with people you trust. Get it all out with your close friends so none of those feelings bubble up to the surface when you’re with him. You can’t be a robot all the time! Your pals are on your side, and they’ll keep you grounded about the situation and tell you the truth. Sometimes you just need some validation and empathy.
Keep emotions out of your conversation. Don’t talk about ex’s, heartbreaks, or anything too, too personal. Keep it light and fun, then you won’t feel exposed or vulnerable looking back on your dates. You can get into the heavier stuff after he’s proved himself worthy. Even if he divulges something from the depths, don’t reciprocate. Be supportive and empathetic, but don’t unleash any of your own demons too early in the game – even if he asks.
Keep him waiting. You’ll likely feel a lot more secure about the situation if you don’t jump in the sack with him right away, or even kiss him right off the bat. It’ll give you a better sense of control over the dynamic. Plus, things just get more complicated after sleeping together. Emotionally detached dating and sleeping together never, ever mix.
[Photo Credit: Taylor Swift at the 2013 Brit Awards | Solarpix / PR Photos]