Have you ever been in a relationship, which on the surface seemed perfect, but there was still that one thing about him you were still iffy about? Maybe he has a hard time apologizing, or you’re not sure if he’s fully committed to you. Everybody has flaws, but when it comes to love, there are several characteristics you should never have to settle for.
The Non-Apologetic
It can be hard to deal with people who never apologize. Being able to admit that you’re wrong and take ownership for your actions is a sign of maturity. If your boyfriend never apologizes when you express that he’s hurt you, this could be a serious red flag.
You should be with someone who will show empathy when you’re down and will want to right his wrongs. If your boyfriend hurts you in any way or does something to upset you, he should make the effort to make it up to you. Don’t let your man get away with everything. By always letting him off the hook, you’re only preventing him from staying hooked.
The Non-Committal
If you are with someone who wants you, but only on his own time, this could be a sign that he is not very committed to the relationship. It’s been said that men generally have a harder time committing to a relationship than do women. Unlike women who act based on their emotions, men are more logical about things. For example, women are more inclined to jump into a relationship because a guy makes her feel happy and secure. Men, on the other hand, need to make sure that the girl he ends up with possesses all the qualities he is looking for. As a result, he will spend more time playing the field before settling down.
Unless you are down with being friends with benefits or keeping things light and casual, you may want to pursue a relationship elsewhere. Non-committal guys are not likely to change very quickly so there is no point in waiting around. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t be so hesitant.
The Guilt-tripper
This guy is very good at manipulating you and toying with your emotions. He makes you feel like every problem the two of you have is your fault. He says the two of you are always fighting because he thinks you nitpick and complain too much. But really, you only complain because he can’t do the littlest things to show you he wants to be with you, like being on time for a date. This constant blame game isn’t healthy and you shouldn’t have to deal with it. Who wants to be with a man who places all the blame on you and makes it seem like everything’s your fault anyway? Find a new man “ one who will admit to his share in an argument.
The Uncompromisable
This arrogant dude isn’t willing to negotiate when the two of you butt heads. If you are with a man who never compromises, you are treading dangerous waters. A guy who doesn’t compromise can be hard to deal with. He pretty much believes that he’s great just the way he is. As a result, he makes no effort to improve and change his flaws because he believes that that’s how he’s always been, therefore that’s how he will always be.
Being in a relationship is a great way for people to discover new things about themselves and develop better interpersonal skills. Since everyone is different, you constantly have to adjust yourself to that person. But if you’re boyfriend is unwilling to adjust himself to you, you will find yourself changing more and more things about you to fit what he needs. Relationships require compromise, not conformity.
The Parental Guardian
You already spent the first 18 to 30 years of your life living under your parents’ roof and abiding by their rules. Now your boyfriend tells you that you dress too slutty and you have no manners. Thanks, Dad. You always know just what to say.
It can be frustrating when your boyfriend acts like your parent. Actually, it kind of sends shivers down your spine thinking about how much he reminds you of your father. First of all, you’re an adult and don’t need someone to boss you around. Secondly, a guy who treats you like a child probably craves power and authority in the relationship. Don’t let him put you down because he’s older or more experienced than you. Let him know you’re potty trained and you don’t need someone to change your diapers for you. You can expect to find this Dad type of guy in men who already have children.
I dated a guy who would never apologize. He had a bad temper and would scream at me whenever he lost it. It would leave me shaking. After one particularlyly horrible event, I told him the next day that he really hurt me. First, he just stared at me. Then he told me that I made him lose his temper because I asked him the same question numerous times and that I should apologize to him!! Bye, bye!!!
WebRep
Overall rating
He’s already set the stage of playing games with you. And my hunch is that is the way
the situation will continue.
It is helpful for women to date many men (non sexually) so you can find out who a man
really is or isn’t over time and he can discover you.
Are you dating any of them?
Easy
Needy
Self-centered
Brainless
Too Sensitive
1. Desperate ! You know who they are, there friends are married and having children. They have a want or a desire to be in the same boat as their friends, always complaining that they’ll never find the “one”. So, they enter POF just to find a man. They have the typical rhetoric in their profile. It’s almost daunting to read 50 profiles from 50 different women and you cant tell the difference in either of them.
2. Soulless, You know where I’m going…. I want a man that can take care of me, I’m a princess, I deserve my cake and eat it too, I don’t have to put forth any effort in this relationship because my Man will do all the work. Maybe, you should get with the program ladies… Men are lazy and you will end up doing most of the heavy lifting. Get that through your head early on.
3. Easy, I cannot tell you how many times I have slept with a woman on POF after just one date, Even the same night we meet. I will sleep with you, However don’t think it will be more than that. I will call the next day, but usually it’ll be to say I feel no chemistry and it wont work between us. Here is my thinking, If it was that easy to sleep with you, How easy will you be when you go out with your friends some night and I’m at home with the kids ? Easy !
Three categories for men.
1. Who are we kidding ? There’s only one. SEX ! POF was set up so that we didn’t have to go to a bar, with a 100 guys better than us hitting on you and us wasting our evening. POF is there so we can lay it on, swap some emails and meet for sex. The odds of us meeting you, falling in love, marriage, house, kids are 1 in 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. How many single guys are in your city ? Not very good odds.
You want a Man ? Go to a Home Improvement store, Grocery Store, Target or even a swap meet type setting. Go where single men go. A Bar? Your missing my point. Men go to bars to get laid. Heck I met an ex at a gas station pumping my gas. Go where men Need things. IE: clothes, food, tools, etc. You could try a wedding, a lot of stupid men go to them.
The point is, you want a man? Don’t go on a dating site, bar, party, rock concert, sporting event or even a gym. A gym…. Please don’t go to my gym, I am there to workout not work on you. That’s like going to a snake farm to meet a mouse.
Plain and simple. If a man wants to be with you, he’ll make the effort. If not, he’ll drag you along in his own personal hell. This guy sounds like a turd, flush it !
I know how you all feel and I am too, struggling to move on and recover.
He also backed off after our the first date, ignored me, replied only to my calls and emails when he wanted to. I had to realize that he is not interested at all, played me and still he does not want me to let go. Don’t waste your time for that guy. It is really exhausting and does not help to build a healthy self-esteem.
I fell for this guy and by knowing that he is really manipulating me emotionally. He is lying to my face, he is never clear on anything. I am just trying to move on and it is hard. I am really hurt. Don’t put yourself in the same situation because you are going to be hooked and it is really difficult to get out. Move on and do not expect anything good out of it. They are really good players. Good luck. An other green.
It seems he only emails once a week. I don’t have a bad feeling about him, but at the same time, I don’t have a great feeling about him. He seems very sweet, kind, likable–and yet, I’ll email him and he’ll ignore me. The last email, over a week ago, I asked if we could both attend a performance together. He never responded by the performance date (Thursday). Then Friday he emails me to tell me that he guessed i didn’t go. Well, my question was “would you like to go together?” So, am I being played or is he just messed up.
(And before you answer, I met him on Plenty of Fish so, anything is possible including that he’s a mental patient escaped from a local sanitarium. POF is not my favorite place).
Thanks for any advice you might give,
Greener
I know how you all feel and I am too, struggling to move on and recover.
He also backed off after our the first date, ignored me, replied only to my calls and emails when he wanted to. I had to realize that he is not interested at all, played me and still he does not want me to let go. Don’t waste your time for that guy. It is really exhausting and does not help to build a healthy self-esteem.
I fell for this guy and by knowing that he is really manipulating me emotionally. He is lying to my face, he is never clear on anything. I am just trying to move on and it is hard. I am really hurt. Don’t put yourself in the same situation because you are going to be hooked and it is really difficult to get out. Move on and do not expect anything good out of it. They are really good players. Good luck. An other green.
It seems he only emails once a week. I don’t have a bad feeling about him, but at the same time, I don’t have a great feeling about him. He seems very sweet, kind, likable–and yet, I’ll email him and he’ll ignore me. The last email, over a week ago, I asked if we could both attend a performance together. He never responded by the performance date (Thursday). Then Friday he emails me to tell me that he guessed i didn’t go. Well, my question was “would you like to go together?” So, am I being played or is he just messed up.
(And before you answer, I met him on Plenty of Fish so, anything is possible including that he’s a mental patient escaped from a local sanitarium. POF is not my favorite place).
Thanks for any advice you might give,
Greener