20 Things to Do Before You Settle Down

So you’ve decided that the time has come. You have “sowed your wild oats” and you are ready to make a commitment and find the person you want to settle down with forever. A happy marriage and some beautiful kids and your life will be absolutely complete, right? Right?!

Uh oh. Fast forward ten years and your dreams of seeing the world, having crazy inappropriate sex, and partying until you forget your own name have turned into….well, just that….dreams. Long, long forgotten dreams. So what are those things (crazy and not-so-crazy) that you really NEED to do before you settle down? Please, read on young love hopefuls!

20) Backpack through a foreign country
No we’re not talking about packing up a “backpack” and heading to a beach in the Dominican for a week. We are talking getting down and dirty and sweaty while trudging a 75lbs backpack through the beautiful streets of India or along the gorgeous beaches of Thailand. Minimum stay: six weeks.

19) Drive your dream car (even if its just a test drive)
Whether it is a BMW or a Bentley, take an afternoon, get yourself dressed up to look the part, and then march your fabulous butt right into that dealership and demand a test drive with your dream car. It will be the most wonderfully exhilarating half-hour of your life and it will be tough to part with. But think how fun it will be to drop the keys back into their hands and let them know that “it’s just not quite what you were looking for, but thank you dear”.

18) Date a bad boy
You know that guy? That one who is so deliciously handsome, so delectably stunning, and so all around dangerous? The one with all the charisma and the reputation to match it? The one that you would never, ever, ever dream of bringing home to mom and dad? Yes, that’s him! You know who we mean!….Right, now go date him.

17) Have a vacation fling
Now this is one for that week long vacay in the Dominican we mentioned earlier. Your mission: Find the sexiest man on the resort and make him yours for the next seven days straight. No fuss, no drama, just all fun and great memories. We promise you won’t regret it.

16) Road trip with your best friend
East coast, west coast, down south, or even just to the cottage up north, find the time to take at least one memorable road trip with your very best friend. No makeup, a gallon of coffee, and one wicked playlist. No matter where you end up it will truly be a trip to last a lifetime.

15) Buy a REALLY expensive pair of shoes
Every girl needs one pair of classic shoes that will never, ever go out of style but with a price tag so outrageous they will make her feel like a million bucks every time she slips them on. Bonus points if they have a memorable red bottom.

14) Spend one night drinking until you don’t remember
It will be the best night of your life and the worst morning you will ever experience. Trust us, it only takes one day of being violently ill from a night of drinking (that you don’t even remember!) to teach you that you never want to be that drunk ever again.

13) Go on a blind date
There is something to be said about the unexpected, and blind dates can very often fall into such a category. Sometimes they are a disaster, sometimes you end up with a great new friend, and, well, sometimes you meet the love of your life. But you will never know until you try it.

12) Live alone for at least a year
There is no better way to learn about your true self than to live completely and utterly on your own. All those annoying habits (that you always blamed on someone else) will suddenly becoming annoyingly obvious, and you can correct them, before you have to impose them on someone else. Plus, you will learn new things that you never knew you could truly love (re-runs of Happy Days at 4am) and/or things you truly hate (vacuuming!!).

11) Live together for a year
And speaking of imposing your annoying habits on someone else… whether you are against it or all for it, we have to say that it is ALWAYS a good idea to live with your future spouse for a good length of time before you decide to make a 60+ year commitment to forever share the same postal code (and aforementioned annoying habits!)

10) Get in the best shape of your life
Don’t do it for your wedding day, do it for your EVERY day. Get yourself into the habit of eating healthy and exercising regularly before you hit that “comfortable” point with someone and you both start to look suspiciously plumper. You’ll thank yourself for it in ten years.

9) Have a one night stand
It might be a mindblowingly amazing night, it might be an absolute drunken disaster. But do it, just so that you can say you did. Enough said.

8. Sleep on a beach
This is not just a romantic notion that you only hear about in chick lit books and girlie flicks. We can promise you that you will never experience anything as amazing as snuggling up beside the person you love and sleeping under the stars on the warm sands of a beautiful white beach. And yes, we are talking about sleeping. JUST sleeping. Anything past that can get, well, messy. Don’t ruin the romance by allowing sand in places that sand should never be.

7) Learn something you never thought you would
Book yourself into for a six week guitar course. Take the plunge and learn to surf. Whatever that one little thing is that you have ALWAYS wanted to learn to do, now is the best time to do it. Because believe us, it is very hard to find the time to learn how to speak Italian when you have three kids and a needy husband depending on you 24/7.

6) Have sex in a public place
Have a sudden urge to tear his clothes off in the middle of Walmart one afternoon? Well then drag his sexy behind into the closest public washroom and do just that girl! It will be something the two of you will laugh and laugh about for many years to come (and will probably get the heat going for many more too!)

5) Own a REALLY big bed
There is nothing, and we mean NOTHING better than having an entire queen sized bed (or even better: a KING!) to yourself night after night up until the day you have to share it with someone else. Trust us!

4) Sleep with an older man
These guys bring to the table a wealth of knowledge unlike any other you will have ever experienced. They will know how to touch you in ways you have never been touched and will actually LISTEN to those tiny little moans and groans you make to learn what you REALLY like. Have your way with these men and then take all they have taught you, about yourself and about men, and use it everyday for the rest of your life.

3) Have an “ex-cleanse” night
You + your girlfriends + every little bit and piece of your former flames that you have been clinging onto for the past decade. Have one last read of the love notes, one last look at the pictures, maybe even shed a tear over first loves, first times, and first heartbreaks. And then throw it all in a big ol’ trash bag, hand it over to one of your girls, and have her dispose of it in one of the furthest dumpsters she can find. Out of sight, out of mind!

2) Get your finances in order
As boring as it sounds, this is probably one of the most important items on the list. It doesn’t take a math genius to know that if you can’t afford to pay your Visa bill every month you are probably aren’t ready to be taking on the financial burden of a wedding. It is absolutely essential that, not only are your finances under control before you take the plunge, but also that your future groom knows the honest truth about your situation. Your debt is about to become his debt too, and believe us, marriages have ended over less.

1) Vow to never “fake it” again
Hands down the most important thing you need to do before you settle down! This is the time to take control of your sexuality and vow that you will never again walk away from the bedroom an unsatisfied woman. Be vocal and unashamed in your quest for the ultimate sexual glory. Your future husband will WANT to please you, so let him! No matter how long it takes!