By Michele Yeo
While she may not have coined the term “frenemies” Carrie Bradshaw definitely helped popularize it in October of 2000 on an episode of the third season of Sex and the City which was also the name of the episode. A frenemy, a portmanteau of friend and enemy, is someone with whom you may be friendly on the surface, but underneath there is some degree of dislike, distrust, resentment, or rivalry more in line with that of an enemy. The term is believed to have appeared in print for the first time in 1953 in an article by American gossip columnist Walter Winchell titled “Howz About Calling Russians our Frienemies?” Winchell may have had international relations in mind when he chose the phrase, but if he were still alive today, he would definitely be using frenemies to refer to the trio of female friends on the third season of The White Lotus.
The current season of the anthology introduces us to Jaclyn (Michelle Monaghan), Kate (Leslie Bibb), and Laurie (Carrie Coon), three “longtime, not old” friends on a girls trip in Thailand. They’re all white, in their 40s, and of a certain socioeconomic status. While the vacay, a long overdue chance for the women to reconnect and catch up, seems aspirational at first, it doesn’t take long to notice the vibes are decidedly off between the blonde besties. The women have barely checked into their suites when we get the first whiff of their dynamic. Jaclyn, a successful television actress who is footing the bill for the trip, and Kate, are going back and forth about how amazing the other one looks while Laurie is left out, opening a bottle of wine awkwardly as the other two tease each other about how talented the other’s plastic surgeon must be. The implication, of course, being that Laurie obviously doesn’t have a plastic surgeon because she doesn’t look as fabulous as the others.
Their first night ends with Jaclyn and Kate gossiping about Laurie after she goes to bed. What begins as faux concern that Laurie, a New York-based corporate lawyer, looks tired, quickly snowballs into gossiping about Laurie’s divorce, her job, questioning her parenting decisions and her drinking. If you’re familiar with these types of friendships and dynamics, it was no surprise to you that the next night, after Jaclyn went to bed before the others, it was her turn to get shit-talked with Laurie and Kate suggesting she may be a narcissist, speculating on what cosmetic procedures she’s had done “did she sand blast her face or something?” as well as her Jaclyn’s yearlong marriage to a much younger man, “are they ever in the same city?”
There seems to be some underlying competition between Jaclyn and Laurie, with “everything you do is just so hard,” the closest Jaclyn will get to paying Laurie a compliment. When the three women go for biometrics testing and Laurie and Jaclyn come back with the same BMI (body mass index) results, Jaclyn seems surprised, if not a tad insulted, after all, she’s the Hollywood actress with the toned and tightened pilates body. Kate, wife to a wealthy businessman now living in Austin, seems to be riding the middle between the two women until she inevitably gets her turn as well. After revealing to the others that she goes to church regularly and may have voted for Trump, Jaclyn and Laurie team up to talk behind her back after Kate goes to bed.
If the trio has triggered you it’s probably because you’ve probably been part of a similar toxic triangle yourself. The White Lotus creator Mike White has been praised for his subversive commentary on class, race, tourism, and socioeconomic status, but he also deserves his flowers for nailing the subtle complexities of female friendship. The season three storyline has quickly become one of anthology’s most relatable. While we may not be able to identify with a generationally wealthy financier on the verge of collapse and at the centre of a ruinous FBI investigation, or a man who has traveled to Thailand to avenge the death of the father he never met, we can likely relate to the three blonde besties. It’s uncomfortable to watch because it’s supposed to be. The trio have been memed online for weeks because chances are, many of us have been there ourselves. And while viewers are calling out their triangle of toxicity, Jaclyn, Laurie, and Kate probably don’t even think they’re doing anything overtly wrong.
The fifth and most recent episode (episode 5, original air date: March 16, 2025) levels up the frenemy vibes. First, Jaclyn seemingly cannot help herself from pointing out that Kate is the only member of their trio who hasn’t had formal dance training when the young Russian men with whom they’re partying mention they all studied ballet. Additionally, all season long, Jaclyn has been pressuring, almost bullying Laurie (the lone single member of the group as she seems to love to point out) to hook up with Valentin, the hunky Russian butler assigned to them by the resort, reminding her that “what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.” While Laurie has generally laughed it off up until now, when the threesome embark on a night of drinking and dancing in an effort to prove they’re still fun and youthful, it seems Laurie might actually be considering a tryst with young Valentin. Valentin compliments Laurie for being a “sexy dancer” and Laurie throws her inhibitions to the wind, going topless in the pool back at the hotel. But then Jaclyn, seeking external validation and wracked with insecurity over not being able to get in touch with her ten years younger husband back home, swoops in during the final moments of the episode to claim Valentin for herself. There were two other men from which she could have selected, but Valentin seemed like a calculated choice. Jaclyn may be on a girls trip, but it’s safe to say she’s not exactly a “girls girl.”
As for how Laurie will react to her friend sleeping with the man, she’s been pushing on her all week, we’ll have to wait until the next episode to find out. We do know episode six will feature a much-anticipated fight. Whether it will be the Muay Thai match several characters have been referencing or if this powder keg toxic trio of frenemies will finally explode remains to be seen. If it’s true and what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand, that may include this longtime friendship.
New episodes of season three of The White Lotus air on Sundays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on HBO and stream on Max, and on Crave in Canada.
