Do you like Valentine's Day? That's cool. I mean, candy's great, and that chocolate's going to be cheap on the 15th, but that's where you lose me. I think of Valentine's Day, I think of bad marketing and being confined to a weird set of social norms that bring us all back to high school. After all, Valentine's Day is technically a holiday for children. On Valentine's, kids have parties and give each other cards, and then those two or three popular ones have boyfriends/girlfriends and get stuffed animals people's parents paid for. And that's fine! Provided everyone at least gets a card, that's some sweet shit right there. But as adults? No thank you. I choose Galentine's Day.
Lovers of television and people I adore, we know what this is. Introduced to us by the glorious Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) of Parks and Recreation, Galentine's Day is a celebration of, well, gals. But don't let me ruin it for you — here's Ms. Knope's official explanation:
"Oh, it's only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home, and we just come and kick it, breakfast-style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It's like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus frittatas."
So yes, sign me up, please and thank you. Personally, I like holidays of the inclusive, non-discriminatory variety. Holidays where we can gather and eat breakfast, and bask in the glory of being totally great. Agree? Fantastic. Here's your guide to Galentine's Day 2014.
1. Breakfast
I'm not saying you have to hang out at breakfast time, I'm saying that a) breakfast is the best meal of the day so don't you dare argue with me, and b) we should all be eating breakfast at night, anyway. (And all day, for that matter.) You can keep your fancy restaurant reservations — Galentine's Day is about eggs and waffles and everything else that brings you joy. Go to a breakfast buffet if you're willing to bag off the day completely, or make the largest platter of eggs this world has ever seen. The whole soiree will cost you less than $20. And with that extra money you can buy all the clearance chocolate you want on Saturday. (You're welcome.)
2. Best friends
How many best friends do you have? It doesn't matter because they're all invited. Galentine's Day isn't about excluding so-and-so or whats-her-name — it's a day in which everyone (EVERYONE) gets an invitation. They don't want to come? That's cool. But would Leslie Knope exclude anyone? Absolutley not. Which is why she's so beloved.
3. No life choice-shaming
So some Galentine's attendees will be single, and others will not be, and regardless of who's dating who or is married or pregnant or single or "casually seeing," etc. this is not a day for shaming. No "GUYS SUCK" or "MARRIED PEOPLE ARE BORING" or "AWWW YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE, HUN." Just breakfast and all the happiness associated with it. (How can you feel judgemental on a day with so much maple syrup, honestly.) Last year, we chose to dye a friend of ours' hair. Then we danced around Beyonce, and ate more candy than humanly possible, and yes, we are all adult women, but that didn't stop us from making bold, declarative statements about the magic of Galentine's. (Or complaining that eating that many chocolate hearts will make you want to die after your second box while opening a third.)
4. A soundtrack
I could give you a "girl power" Galentine's oriented list, or I could direct you to Songza's Leslie Knope masterpiece or Rookie's gift from above. (Which is what I'm doing.) Albums to also consider: anything by Beyonce, anything by Spice Girls, anything by Julie Ruin, anything by Sleater-Kinney, anything by Nicki Minaj, anything YOUR HEARTS DESIRE. This is your Galentine's Day! Your February 13! Your frittatas! In the words of Miley Cyrus, this is also your house and also your rules. Just please, for the love of all that is good, make sure you bought enough snacks.
[image via Pinterest]
