We’re all aware that plastic surgery is less of a novelty than the world makes it seem “ especially since Botox and fillers have dictated the aging process of a population afraid to grow old. But what’s worse than the procedures are the excuses behind them “ because if you’re going to shell out a several grand on behalf of corrective jaw surgery (we’re looking at you, Bristol Palin), you might as well be honest. So in celebration of celebrities thinking we’re idiots, here’s our round up of the worst surgery excuses yet.
Bristol Palin “ Corrective Jaw Surgery
Claiming the surgery was for medical reasons (of course), the daughter of everyone’s favourite Alaskan has claimed that despite looking like a Kardashian sister she’s absolutely thrilled with the results because she looks older, more mature and don’t have as much of a chubby baby face. Said Jay Leno, once upon a time.
Cameron Diaz/everyone “ Deviated Septum
First of all, what does that even mean? Secondly, no. With the likes of Ms. Diaz, Ashley Tisdale and every other self-conscious starlet hiding behind a medical term synonymous with I think my nose is crooked/too big/not enough like a Disney princess’, we watch as actresses go from human-looking humans to the reason teenage girls have plastic surgery funds. The only thing worse than the worst excuse to ever excuse was Cameron’s claim that the lack of oxygen going to her brain was resulting in memory loss. Because the surgery wasn’t cliché© enough.
Paris Hilton “ Drooping Eyelid
True, this has never been confirmed. But if it was confirmed, we would give an over-the-top eyeroll to the heiress’ claim that prior to her date with the knife she couldn’t see out of her left eyelid properly. (I mean, WHAT?) Confirmation or not, we’ve found the dog ate my homework surgery-excuse equivalent.
Tara Reid “ Plastic Surgery Reversal
Stay with us here: after a botched unnecessary plastic surgery, Tara Reid required plastic surgery to correct her unnecessary plastic surgery. Evidently, a procedure gone awry left her with a hernia by her belly-button that resulted in, well, the photographs we’ve all likely already seen. And let’s just remind ourselves that Ms. Reid was a skinny girl to begin with.
Heidi Montag “ Sexy Ears
Alright, we’re not going to go on and on about Heidi, because anyone with one ounce of a conscious won’t mock a woman who’s obviously been dealt a fair share of mental health issues. However, among one of her million-something procedures was having her ears pinned back because she thought she previously looked like Dumbo. That, and she thought her umpteen surgeries were part of God’s will. Sad face, Heidi. Sad face.