Do you feel as thought you’ve been used or taken advantage of by people who think you’re too nice? If these following scenarios sound like you, its time to stop being a push-over and learn to say NO!
1. You never say no
Sure, I can cover your shift this weekend. Yes, I would love to help you move on my only day off in months. No problem, you can leave your cat here while you go to Aruba¦again. Does this sound like you? The fact is, it feels so great when you can help a person out but you also have to consider how much you may be putting yourself out in the process. You’re not a bad person if you say no, your friends and family will still love you. We promise.
2. You haven’t gotten a raise in three years, or was it four?
This is a tricky one as every office environment has it’s own protocol about asking for a higher bottom line. This actually happened to me recently. Initially I lost sleep over it and was like, I make enough, I should be lucky I make what I do. But the truth was I didn’t make enough and being taken advantage of, big time. So what I did was sit down with my boss and say this, I love working with you but in order for me to continue here we need to discuss my salary. I don’t want to leave but I may have to. Ok, so the idea of losing me or rather having to train someone new scared her and, voila, I got a raise and a gas allowance, not to mention a bonus. Now I’m not saying this is a sure fire way to getting more money but it worked for me. And afterwards, I felt so much better about my job, my boss and myself.
3. Um, yeah, you can pay me back whenever. (That was eight months ago!)
She’s a good friend and she wouldn’t have asked you unless she really needed it. But now things are uncomfortable between you two and you don’t know what to do. It’s all you can think about when you’re together that you find yourself avoiding her. First off, you were the nice person that leant the money so you have every right to ask when you will be getting it back. Listen, my mom always told me that lending money to family and friends is a slippery slope. No matter what, it changes things between you. So think about that next time you’re asked to cover your roommates’ share of the rent or utilities.
4. No, no you haven’t put on any weight, really.
I don’t care if you’re a guy, a girl or a toy poodle, weight is a touchy subject and one that needs to be treaded very lightly. But if your friend has put on weight lately and comes to you for your honest opinion, don’t just lie. I mean if she gained a few holiday pounds perhaps you just say, We both need to exercise more why don’t we go to the gym together three days a week. Use it as a chance to get closer and help each other get healthier.
5. You haven’t had an orgasm in, well¦.
He’s a great kisser. And the sex is good and you have a good time doing it. He even likes to cuddle afterwards. That’s all well and good, but if he hasn’t hit your g-spot in awhile it’s time to speak up. YES, with words! Tell him. He is a great kisser but not such a great mind reader. Perhaps you say, Hey listen, that was fun let’s try it again but slower and could you touch me right¦there¦yeah. Ok, you catch my drift. The longer you wait for the situation to fix itself the more you will be missing out on some great sex!