29 Questions I Ask Myself the Week Before My Period

PMS is a real and present danger. For me, the week before my period (what I like to call my Monthly Maintenanceâ„¢), my brain starts working at half-speed, I am hungry all the time and I constantly think about all the places where I could be asleep and then question why I’m not there sleeping. These are just a few of the questions I ask myself in that time.

  1. Why is there no chocolate in my hand?
  2. Why does my stomach hurt?
  3. Do I need to apologize for yelling at my my coworker about yogurt?
  4. Why is everyone making me cry?
  5. Why is everything making me cry?
  6. What can I eat?
  7. Am I a cliché© for buying tampons and ice cream at the same time?
  8. Why is Ben and Jerry’s so expensive?
  9. Why am I so tired?
  10. How do I stretch every muscle in my body without anyone in the room noticing?
  11. When do I get to take a nap?
  12. Why am I crying?
  13. What can I eat?
  14. Is it better to be on the brink of tears or bloated and irritable? (Jk. I’m all of those things right now.)
  15. Why are clothes SO uncomfortable?
  16. What is the most comfortable outfit I can get away with at work?
  17. Can I wear that outfit five days in a row?
  18. I realize I just got here, but is it time to take a nap yet?
  19. Seriously, what can I eat?
  20. Why is this picture of a puppy making me cry?
  21. Wait¦ what is¦ math?
  22. Do you think anyone would notice if I closed the door to the board room and curled up under the table and went to sleep?
  23. Do you have any snacks?
  24. Do you have an extra blanket?
  25. Are you going to eat that?
  26. Could someone please cuddle me?
  27. Why are you breathing so loudly?
  28. What was I just saying?
  29. Oh yeah, what can I eat?

Tags: Amal Clooney, Giambattista Valli, questions I ask the week before my period

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