PMS is a real and present danger. For me, the week before my period (what I like to call my Monthly Maintenanceâ„¢), my brain starts working at half-speed, I am hungry all the time and I constantly think about all the places where I could be asleep and then question why I’m not there sleeping. These are just a few of the questions I ask myself in that time.
- Why is there no chocolate in my hand?
- Why does my stomach hurt?
- Do I need to apologize for yelling at my my coworker about yogurt?
- Why is everyone making me cry?
- Why is everything making me cry?
- What can I eat?
- Am I a cliché© for buying tampons and ice cream at the same time?
- Why is Ben and Jerry’s so expensive?
- Why am I so tired?
- How do I stretch every muscle in my body without anyone in the room noticing?
- When do I get to take a nap?
- Why am I crying?
- What can I eat?
- Is it better to be on the brink of tears or bloated and irritable? (Jk. I’m all of those things right now.)
- Why are clothes SO uncomfortable?
- What is the most comfortable outfit I can get away with at work?
- Can I wear that outfit five days in a row?
- I realize I just got here, but is it time to take a nap yet?
- Seriously, what can I eat?
- Why is this picture of a puppy making me cry?
- Wait¦ what is¦ math?
- Do you think anyone would notice if I closed the door to the board room and curled up under the table and went to sleep?
- Do you have any snacks?
- Do you have an extra blanket?
- Are you going to eat that?
- Could someone please cuddle me?
- Why are you breathing so loudly?
- What was I just saying?
- Oh yeah, what can I eat?
