Inside of everyone, there is a hint of a “mean girl”. Sometimes the mean girl only snaps once a month, and sometimes she’s vicious. But deep down, women secretly hate other women and it all boils to the same reasons (in varying degrees):
Competition: We like to compare ourselves to others. I do it all the time and it makes me feel insecure. This insecurity boils to the surface and makes me want what she has. Whether it’s a scenario at work or in your personal life, sometimes you just don’t know if you’re good enough and watching someone else in your life ‘have it together’ can make you crazy.
Pressure to be the woman who has it all: Women are really great. There are so many talented, beautiful, smart, and hilarious women in my life and it’s not difficult to feel like you’re a needle in the haystack. That being said the combination of competition and pressure to be the best can lead to devastating effects.
Less opportunities: In work and play, being a woman is tumultuous. I’m so grateful for the “Lean-in” movement and the growing support system of women and other women, but change takes time. Depending on the industry and workplace, climbing the corporate lady is tough and watching the few female peers move ahead competition for similar roles and that often ‘token’ spot is disheartening and it’s easy to lash out at one another rather than see the true issue at hand.
Emotional: No matter what kind of woman you are, you feel. It’s hard to control and sometimes once a month things can escalate.
But like all things, and especially the nuance that exists with all female relationships, the things are often more complex than can be captured in this list. Though being mindful of items above we can all try to sustain relationships that matter to us.