Missing a friend’s birthday may make you feel pretty rotten, but sometimes, the thought of mustering the energy, funds or attitude to gather put your party face on just seems impossible. Whether you’ve hit a party wall or are broke, there are some situations in which your absence at a girlfriend‘s birthday is totally permissible. These are them:
1. You know you’ll be miserable the whole time.
If, for whatever reason, you’re in an epic funk (you’ve gone through a breakup, are getting over illness, etc.) and know that you’re going to be a total Debbie downer, do yourself and your friend a favour and stick around at home. Or, muster up the positivity to swing by and say happy birthday, but excuse yourself before you put a damper on the night.
2. It will be your financial ruin.
Dinner, drinks, shots, cabs, etc., etc. can all add up. If you know you won’t eat for a week if you go to this party and there’s absolutely no way you can partake without spending a ton of cash, then don’t go. But do think of a way you can explain your situation to your friend beforehand, in private. Maybe you can offer her some birthday hang-time at a later date in a way that works for both of you.
3. Your know your friend will be too drunk to even notice you’re there.
Again, probably not a best friend situation in this case. If your pal and everyone at the party is going to be black out wasted by the time you get there, your birthday wishes probably wouldn’t even be recognized anyway. Find a way to give her your best wishes at a later time when you’re both cognitive.
4. You know they wouldn’t do it for you.
We’re obviously not talking really good friends in this case. If this is an acquaintance situation, and you really don’t want to do it and you know you won’t necessarily be missed, then don’t go.
5. You have to flip your schedule inside out.
If attending the party involves jumping on a bus to another city, staying at a hotel for the weekend and returning late Sunday night when you have to work 5 hours from the time you walk in the door, don’t do it. If your work week is going to suffer from this one party, it’s not worth it. Again, explain it to your friend “ they’ll probably understand. Just make alternate arrangements for a commemorating the day that works for both of you.