What Are You Fighting For?

Fighting in relationships can become a bad habit that impossible to stop. For some, the constant need to be right drives them into a never-ending battle. For others, the passion that goes into arguing shows them the other person cares. Therefore, they will keep arguing as a means of getting frequent reassurance.

But in many cases, fights can easily erupt over the littlest things, such as the other person forgetting to call when the said they would.  In these instances our immediate reaction is to play the victim and blame the other for hurting us. The next thing you know, we find ourselves stuck in the middle of World War 3 wondering how something so small escalated into the unthinkable.

Emotional Overload
So how does the war begin? After that missed call, you might spend the next several hours stewing, letting your anger build up. You are so fumed that you waited by the phone for absolutely nothing
. While you may want to keep your anger in check, it’s difficult to not let our emotions get the best of you. Just when you think you’ve calmed down, the sight of their face triggers could pent up negative energy. You curse and we yell and we don’t accept any excuses from the other person. The yelling only increases until we come to an agreement, that is, until they agree with everything you’ve so carefully thought out.

Think with a clear mind 
So what if the other person ends up apologizing and you win this time? What have the past two hours really accomplished? Is having your way a fair trade off for missing your dinner reservations? Many people don’t realize the price they pay each time they get into fight. While some things are worth fighting for such as cheating or lying, forgetting to call is no reason to strike up a heated dispute. 

Weigh the relief against the damage
Fighting seems to bring temporary relief. It allows us to release our frustration on the person who hurt us. But attempts to hurt the other person only end up hurting ourselves. Fights often end in regret as in the heat of the moment we end up saying things we don’t mean and miss out on what could have been a good time. In the grand scheme of things, is fighting really worth it?

Next time you are feeling mad over something, think of all the good things about the relationship before expressing your anger and frustration. As hard as this can be, sometimes it’s better to choose to be happy rather than right.

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Tags: Bad relationships, communication, fighting, Relationships

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