Dating apps have largely taken over the dating scene for millennials, and whether or not you think that’s positive or negative, it’s a stark reality. Although it’s unrealistic to think that we would continue to date like our grandparents’ or even our parents’ generation, it’s still a little frightening to see how we’ve come to expect a lasting relationship to flourish from a quick right-swipe. Being constantly bombarded with options, we keep looking for something bigger and better around the corner, and we’re losing the ability to feel truly happy and to trust our guts–but the good part is, you’re not alone in all of this.
This is possibly one of the most stressful parts of online dating”since you may not have met in person, you have no sense of the other person’s intentions. You may be head-over-heels, waiting desperately for them to send you a message so you can start planning the wedding, but they may just be chatting with you and trying to figure out if you’re DTF. Because you’re inferring the tone from texts, both of you could have completely misguided ideas about what the other means. Confusing? Absolutely.
Keeping your options open
Say you start chatting with someone, and you talk pretty regularly for about a week”do you feel a sense of obligation to this person, having technically not met them yet? Do you chat with a few potential suitors at the same time, or does that make it cheating? It’s okay to feel conflicted about this, because the truth is there are no hard and fast rules about online dating. It’s in this weird (and confusing af) limbo where you don’t want to lead someone on, but still have some reservations as to whether or not they’re good peeps (or at the very least, not a serial killer). So you have a few people on the go, just in case one turns out to be a psycho that you would never in a million years start dating, and (if you’re anything like me), you’ll over-analyze EVERY conversation, which is just plain exhausting.
All of this multi-tasking, over-analyzing and message-decoding can leave you a hot mess. The solution? There really isn’t one, since dating apps have exploded in the past few years this is still fairly unchartered territory. Ultimately though, if you’re upfront with what you want and what you’re seeking, you’ll have an easier time deciding whether or not your match is actually a genuine one. If you find someone you really like, continuing to browse other options is only going to leave you overwhelmed and unsure of your decisions”so stop swiping! Have a little faith and trust your gut. Unfortunately, there’s no app for that (yet).