Usually, it begins with a feeling that you just can’t shake. It’s barely noticeable at first, but as the days go by, it becomes a looming question in your mind: is my relationship ending? We’ve all been there. Some of us avoid the obvious signs, hoping that it will all go away. Others fight to save the relationship, not wanting to give into the inevitable roller coaster ride that the relationship may have become.
The change in your relationship may seem insignificant at first, but on some deeper level you probably know that it’s the beginning of the end. When that happens, you’re likely to move into a defensive position, wanting to believe that nothing has changed. So what are the signs that it’s ending?
¢ Denial is your first response to any change in your feelings
¢ You’re quick to anger and argue with your partner more often than you used to
¢ You start grieving the relationship long before it’s over
¢ You often feel indifferent or impatient, or you feel contempt or resentment for your partner
¢ Thinking about your relationship gives you a sense of dread
¢ Your partner appears distracted when you are talking
¢ You and/or your partner spend more time with friends than with eachother
¢ Your partner seems cold or distant These negative feelings and situations are warning signs that your relationship is in jeopardy.
So if you shrug them off an attribute them to a bad patch or a normal reaction to stress, you may be in denial. You might tell yourself that it isn’t a big deal, but if the situation is allowed to continue, it will become part of your relationship’s dynamic. This can leave you feeling vulnerable, helpless and out of control. The end game of dragging on a relationship past its best-before date is a roller coaster ride. You’ll experience highs, yes”but more often, there will be plummeting lows of anger and despair. When the signs appear and you feel in your heart that it’s the beginning of the end, take action to share your feelings honestly. That way, you’ll have the opportunity to get your relationship back on track if you’re both willing to work on it”and if not, you’ll save yourself the heartache of going through the motions with someone who is one foot out the door.