In matters of the heart, I used to be an enabler. I listened to you cry over him, I held your hand and made you tea. I met you at the bar and helped you drink away your sorrows. I heard about his issues, his parents’ divorce and why he may have said that thing on the phone last night that drove you crazy.
When my friends spilled about their men, all I did was listen”but now I’m done with keeping quiet. And you should speak up too. If you hate him, help her out! Chances are, he falls into one of these types”and she should break up with him, stat:
The good guy: He’s nice, funny, good-looking, kind and responsible. He’s been good to her. But the two of them together? It’s not going to work. Maybe she’s with him because they make sense on paper. Or maybe she’s stuck on him because of their connection in bed. Either way, broach the subject gently. Ask her if he’s the guy she always dreamed she’d end up with”does he make her heart skip a beat?
The loser: He’s awful. He’s always been awful. He may be charming, great in bed or incredibly funny, but really he’s just a pain in the butt and not worthy of her time. It’s clear to everyone but her that he’s not a good bet for a long-term commitment”let alone a short-term fling. Help her move on by introducing her to your single guy friends. Once she knows what else is out there, she could see the light!
The commitment-phobe: He may be intelligent and fun, but he’s resistant to change. He likes to say let’s keep things simple, I don’t like things to get complicated, or I need my space. He balks at calling her his girlfriend and never makes plans for the weekend. She needs to let him have his space, his simple life, his uncomplicated world”and walk straight out that door. Stage an intervention where you get her to delete his phone number and email address. Help her cut him off and then set her up on some blind dates with guys who’ll appreciate her for the catch she is.
The workaholic: He’s always working late, trying to meet quota and fixated on impressing the boss. She’s become arm candy for nights when he needs to have a date to show off to senior VPs and clients. The rest of the time, she’s waiting for him to get home to spend time together. Help her realize that she’ll be waiting forever for him”and that she can do better. Tell her to set up a meeting and ditch him.