Have you ever had a conversation with one of your good friends and feared telling them the truth? Or have you told them the truth (not what they wanted to hear) and it led to an argument? Probably not your intention when you decided to give your honest opinion. They did ask after all? As a result, like most people you have learned it’s best to say nothing at all or tell little white lies to make the feel better. But when it comes to being a good friend you may want to reconsider your lying streak; get real and be the friend you would want. A good friend wants what’s best for you and as a result a good friend, when asked for advice, doesn’t lie.
Remember: before you go around sharing your doctrine of truth sometimes what you have to say may not be received well. Don’t fret, when confronted with the truth some people choose to hear or see what they want. You can’t control their reaction, but hopefully your good intentions will shine through.
There are pros and cons to weigh before you enter the realm of honesty in friendship. If you are up from the challenge below are five tips that will help you navigate your way through these situations.
It feels good knowing that the people who you surround yourself with truly want what’s best for you. When you are going through ups and downs it’s not always easy to make a good decision on your own. A little guidance or an alternate viewpoint might be needed. This is a great opportunity to show your friend that truth and honesty (out of love) is a valuable component in your friendship.
It's not uncommon for friendships to end over differing opinions or unwanted revelations. For example, have you ever told a friend that their significant other is misleading them? Maybe you have hard evidence? They asked you for advice and this is an opportune time to tell them what you know and sincerely feel. When confronted with the truth some people will look for blame. Unfortunately, your good intentions may get lost in the foray of emotions. You may question whether or not it was all worth it in the end.
Five Honesty Tips:
- Before you give your best advice always ask your friend if they would like to hear your thoughts on the crisis at hand. If they don't want to hear what you have to say, they can simply say no.
- If you are not too sure what to say at the moment, say nothing. Be a good listener, tell your friend that you can’t provide any insight but may be able to once you have given it some thought. Don’t make something up just to pacify them.
- Don’t pass judgment. It’s not your life, it’s theirs.
- Don't say I told you so. Yes, this is not easy when you have given someone the same advice over and over again who continues to dismiss you.
- Stay neutral. Don't allow your friend's problems to become your own. You have your own life, be a good friend, be there when you can but don't let what's not yours to worry about consume you. This can be tricky in certain situations when some friends view you as the go-to-girl. As nice as this may seem, you need to create boundaries. Be honest and only give what you can. A good friend will understand.