How to Find a Balance Between Your Friends and Boyfriend

So you have a new boyfriend and things are going great. You couldn’t be happier. But your friends have been hinting to you that you might not be giving them enough quality time. They tell you that they barely see you any more because you are constantly being whisked away by your newfound love.

When we meet someone new that we really like, it’s natural for girls to want to spend every waking moment with that person. Everything is so new and exciting and you just want to be with them. So how do we stay true to our girlfriends when our heart desires to spend time with our man?

Manage your time

Balancing time between your relationships and your friends doesn’t have to be a hard task. You can easily find the time to see both equally and happily. Divide your weekdays and weekends evenly between your friends and boyfriend. Remember, there are two prime weekend nights. So you can hit the clubs with your friends on Friday and cozy up on the couch next to your man on Saturday.

You can even alternate the weeks. Maybe you would rather hang out on weeknights with your girls and spend an entire weekend with your man. Then change it up the week after. Either way, make sure to schedule your friends into your daily life as much as you would want to see your boyfriend. This is also a good way to keep him wanting more since you won’t be spending all your free time with him.

Group outings

Third wheel, schmird wheel. It doesn’t always have to be one or the other. Now that you are older and more mature, who says you can’t all be friends? If you and your BF decide to do something casual like watch a movie or go out for coffee, ask your friend to come along. Double dates and going out in larger groups are also good ways to see both your boyfriend and your friends simultaneously. That way, you can also get your girls’ opinions on your new guy.

Listen

Remember that time you had a fight with your boyfriend and called your friend at 3 a.m. to talk? Well, just because you are with someone, doesn’t mean you are the only one with problems. Your friends will go through rough times too and will want you to be there for them just like they were there for you. It’s easy to get wrapped up in all our relationship drama. But remember to ask your friends how they are doing too so they don’t feel neglected. And when they have something to share, let them speak instead of turning the conversation back to you and your love interest.

Think long-term

So things are great with your boyfriend now. But what happens in a few months or years from now when things begin to turn sour? You will need your girlfriends to be at your side with that big tub of ice cream and to tell you he wasn’t good enough for you. This is another good reason why it’s important to continue investing time into your friends even though you have a new lover. If you lose them now, who will give you their shoulder to cry on when you lose your boyfriend too?

Just remember, your friends were there first and they will most likely still be there even if your new BF isn’t. But it’s up to you to make sure they stay.

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Tags: balance, balancing time, friends, long-term, managing time, Relationships, scheduling, third wheel, weekends, weeknights

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Comments

  1. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I have seen this happen to many people. They key is reminding your friends that you actually care to keep them as friends. You can do this by randomly calling or texting them during the week. ( Hey! Miss ya or Hey, I just saw some guy running down the street in his boxers, ETC) They want your genuine attention. Keep some level of contact with all friends you want to keep.Try not to drascially reduce the amount of attention you give your friends. Also, speak kindly of your friends to your boyfriend. You want to paint a positive picture of the people in your life to both your boyfriend and your friends. The main focus in learning how to balance friends and a boyfriend, is to treat them like you care to keep them in your life. You will need them and they need you. Try your best not to make plans and blow them off with either party. Set realistic expectations. If you can’t hangout, then say you can’t. They will appreciate it in the long run.
  2. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    So my girlfriends dont like my boyfriend they support me in my desicion but say im spending too much time with him and not them. The problem is that there isint enoughtime for my friends and i or my boyfriend and i to spend alot of time together.So how can i split my time or what can i do ?
  3. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    I have seen this happen to many people. They key is reminding your friends that you actually care to keep them as friends. You can do this by randomly calling or texting them during the week. ( Hey! Miss ya or Hey, I just saw some guy running down the street in his boxers, ETC) They want your genuine attention. Keep some level of contact with all friends you want to keep.Try not to drascially reduce the amount of attention you give your friends. Also, speak kindly of your friends to your boyfriend. You want to paint a positive picture of the people in your life to both your boyfriend and your friends. The main focus in learning how to balance friends and a boyfriend, is to treat them like you care to keep them in your life. You will need them and they need you. Try your best not to make plans and blow them off with either party. Set realistic expectations. If you can’t hangout, then say you can’t. They will appreciate it in the long run.
  4. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    So my girlfriends dont like my boyfriend they support me in my desicion but say im spending too much time with him and not them. The problem is that there isint enoughtime for my friends and i or my boyfriend and i to spend alot of time together.So how can i split my time or what can i do ?

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