Jealously. A nine letter word that causes oh-so-much drama. Jealousy is a part of every relationship “ whether you want to admit it or not “ but it ranges in intensity for each. Sometimes you’re the one freaking out, or maybe your significant other gets hit hard by the jealousy bug “ but fear not, because there are ways of dealing with jealous tendencies in a healthier way.
Jealousy has its roots in a whole host of things ranging from insecurity, past experience, fear, etc. Here are a few tips to help deal with your own jealousy, or how to nip it in the bud when it comes to your significant other’s jealous ways.
Dig Deep:
In order to deal with any level of jealousy that you or your partner may be feeling, you need to dig deep and really try to find out what it is that makes you jealous. Getting to the root of your feelings is key, because it’ll help open your eyes. Sit down, relax and ask yourself why you’re jealous. Are you insecure about the last boyfriend who cheated on you? Are you not used to dating social guys? Are you insecure about your own worth?
Talk About It:
Once you’ve figured out why you’re jealous, or you’ve encouraged your guy to do the same, it’s time to talk. Sure, it seems like the oldest trick in the book “ you have a problem, so talk about it. Duh! But it really is the best medicine to kill off the green-eyed monster. Have a conversation about your feelings. Try not to hold back, because you may end up regretting what was left unsaid. It’s really incredible the amount of clarity a great, long, intense talk can bring.
Be Open:
Here’s the tough part, no matter which side of the jealousy game you’re playing. You need to be open to suggestions on why your jealousy is unfounded, and you also need to be open to understanding why he may be jealous himself. Sure, it’s hard to hear you don’t have to worry about anything and really believe it sometimes, but if your partner is offering up that kind of support, you need to try and accept it. You also have to be open to listening why he might be jealous. Do you always forget to call when you say you will? Are you constantly ditching him to hang out with anyone else? Maybe it’s time for a little compromise “ it really goes a long way.
Involve Your Partner:
If you’re in a long distance relationship, for example, it can be tough to see your boyfriend, fiancé©, husband, whatever, always hanging out with work people and not you. Or, maybe you’re the one who has no time for him. Involve each other! If it’s a case of not knowing who he’s hanging out with, get to know his friends. If he wants to know who John from the office is, invite him out for drinks with everyone. Know that involving your significant other can be a) really beneficial to any jealousy issues, but b) a lot of fun too!
