Today’s courtship phase has so many gray areas: how many minutes into the first date should you expect a kiss? How many dates until you can follow him on Twitter? How many ways can you Google him before you’re officially crazy? Is he your boyfriend, or just a lesson learned? I don’t know about all the other stuff, but here are a few signs that tell you (in your best Maury Povich voice) that he is not your boyfriend.
He only texts you at 1am
Any boyfriend of yours will want to hang out with you before he’s three whiskeys deep. We all know nothing good ever happens after midnight, so if he only reaches out when it’s closer to breakfast than to dinnertime, he’s not your boyfriend.
He barely tries
If his idea of a birthday present is using a Groupon and going half on the rest of the dinner tab, if he’s not really sure what you do for a living and he can never remember how many siblings you have, he’s not your boyfriend.
He love his friends…but you’ve never met them.
If you’re not really a part of his life, he’s not your boyfriend.
He took a pass on meeting your parents
If he doesn’t really want to be a part of your life, he’s not your boyfriend.
You’ve never been on a date
If you’re always hanging out but your alone time is limited to your intimate times, he’s not your boyfriend.
He says he doesn’t want to put a label on it
If he doesn’t want to be known as your boyfriend… he’s not your boyfriend.
He’s got a girlfriend
Sorry, but no matter how he spins it, if he’s claimed by someone else, he’s not your boyfriend.