He’s charming, intelligent, romantic and free-spirited, but you’ve noticed some odd behavior behind the bedroom door. Sexual dealbreakers are not always black and white, as everyone has different interests and comfort levels.
Although it can be an awkward subject, it is best to keep an open dialogue between you and your guy to ensure you are on the same page. Most confusion can be cleared up with a simple conversation, but if you are experiencing any of the following it may be time to find another sleepover buddy.
You are out of your comfort zone
While it’s great to have a partner who opens you up to new experiences, there is no excuse for pushing you beyond your comfort level. If he wants to try something new, he should always ask your permission and make you feel like it is ok to stop if you’re just not into it – do not be afraid to draw the line if it’s not your thing. If he doesn’t respect those boundaries, then he doesn’t respect you.
Aside from the booty call, he never gets in touch
You have an amazing intimate bond, but you are beginning to feel like his call girl. Unless your relationship has been negotiated under the terms of ˜play-dates’ only, he should most definitely be calling to chat or set up a date to learn more about you (when you have your clothes on). Make sure that your expectations of the relationship have been clearly stated. If he is still not calling for anything more than booty, then put on your booties and start walking.
The giving doesn’t equal the getting
This one is a no-brainer in the bedroom and beyond: if you are the one doing all the work with no reward, there is something terribly wrong. It is not to say that you need to get in a score-keeping game of tit for tat, but your guy should be making sure that the overall action is equivalent. It’s about the two of you enjoying each other and having a good time, not about pleasing him only.
Ok, so the first time (and sometimes even the first few times) can be awkward until you relax and tune in to each other, but if you have been trying different methods to make it feel natural and exciting for a while now, it may be time to determine how important the sexual chemistry is to you. Years down the road, you will need even a small spark to keep things interesting.