Roommate falling outs can be trickier to deal with than falling outs with friends. You’re have to deal with bills together, take care of chores together, and the likelihood of running into them is 100% likely when you share a kitchen. Here are some pointers to help deal roommate issues.
1. Don’t be passive aggressive
Being passive aggressive or sarcastic only makes tension build. You don’t want to live with someone who resents you in any way. If you have an issue, do both you and your room mate a favour by being direct about it. It might not be an easy topic to broach, but biting the bullet is the best way to solve the issue.
2. Figure out exactly what the problem is
Be honest with yourself about what’s really bothering you “ Is it simply a personality thing that irritates you about your room mate? If so, you can’t demand that they change who they are so you can have some peace of mind. If the sound of your roommate’s voice is what really makes you cringe, you obviously can’t tell them that if you actually want something to change.
3. Address the issue in a constructive way
Think of a way to address your qualms in a constructive, practical way. Tell her you’d prefer it if she kept phone calls to a minimum after 10 PM, for example, or to be a little quieter when you’re studying at a certain time. Make sure the way you share your grievance will actually invite her to change something. Be willing to hear them out, too. Constructive discussions have to be two sided.
4. Be reasonable
You can’t expect your room mate to stop bringing her boyfriend around altogether simply because you don’t like him. Sometimes, you have to accept that there are some things you can’t change. You have to be reasonable in what you ask. Hopefully, you can both be mature enough to come to a decision on how to make home life livable in a way that works for both of you. For example, if you seriously can’t stand her man for whatever reason, agree to make a rule for overnight guests during the week, or
5. Be sensitive
Bear in mind that it probably won’t be easy for her to hear that you loathe her partner or hate how she leaves her coats lying around the kitchen, so be sensitive about how you tell her what’s been on your mind. She’ll probably wonder how long you’ve been feeling this way and she might be embarrassed about her behaviour. You don’t want to make her feel like crap “ you want to make a better situation for both of you.
6. Be patient
We’re creatures of habit and making a change about the way you live can be super hard. Don’t expect to see results overnight. If nothing changes and you’re ready to lash out, address the issue again without being passive aggressive. What’s important is that you both feel heard and understood.
