Dating was complicated even before you had kids, now, it may seem all but impossible. While your kids might be the number one owners of your heart, don’t let your them govern your love life. It’s important to make time for romance. Here are a few tips for finding a balance, knowing when to take a chance, and avoiding getting your (and your kid’s) heart broken.
1. Don’t introduce anyone until it’s a stable relationship.
Meeting everyone you date can be confusing for your kids. If your man and your kid end up spending time together, your kid could get attached “ then if it doesn’t work out with the guy it adds a whole other layer of complexity and heartbreak to the situation. Your kid might also blame him or herself for them not sticking around. Wait until you know you can trust this guy with your (and your kid’s) heart.
2. Don’t use your kid as an excuse to not date.
Of course, dating with kids in the mix is a lot more complex than dating without them, but the bottom line, dating is always scary. Don’t put it off. You never know what you might be missing.
3. Keep your priorities straight.
While you shouldn’t let your kids govern your dating life, don’t let your hormones take over completely, either. The tricky part is, finding that balance isn’t a static, unchanging thing “ there are times when your kid needs you more, other times, it’ll be worth it to step away and spend time with a new someone. Be smart, and minimize emotional decision making.
4. Separate date time from home time.
When you’re out, you’re out. When you’re home, you’re home. Don’t allow feelings of guilt to overshadow your dates, or feelings of restlessness to overshadow your time with your kid.
5. Stay positive.
Being positive sometimes means putting on a happy face in front of your kids, even if your dating life is a disaster. They need you to be the parent, and they need to know you’re OK.
6. Put yourself first.
Set aside time in your week for just you “ even if it’s an hour when you can paint your toenails, give yourself a facial or watch a movie you’ve been dying to see. Me time is crucial for feeling sexy, confident, secure “ which are crucial for successful dating and motherhood, respectively.