The episode got going immediately with the first group date, including Megan, Kaitlyn, Ashley S., Ashley I., Juelia, Kelsey, Samantha and Mackenzie. Looking to do what’s “natural,” those that wear a lot of makeup were having panic attacks. Driving down these winding roads in some sweet convertibles, the girls arrived at the lake for a picnic and for some fun in the sun. And because apparently Ashley I. is shy, she decided to strip down and Kaitlyn followed suit. After playing some red rover, Kelsey was having a hard time being on the group date… especially when Chris announced that the group was camping out for the night. And then to make matters worse, she got stung near her ladybits. Poor girl. Ashley I. was a “camping virgin and a virgin camping,” Once the rose made an appearance, all the ladies starting looking for some time, starting with Kaitlyn and a smooch. Some of the gals were calling bullshit on Kelsey’s nice girl demeanour while Ashley S. was in full form while the rest of the girls were getting a little tipsy. Chris sat down with Crazy Eyes (Ashley S.) and she started with her weird normal questions, but obviously Chris didn’t care because he kissed her anyway. Ashley I. pulled Chris away so he could get to know her in a “different way than he already knows her,” which naturally involved more kissing. Even though Ashley I. wanted it “more than anyone,” Kaitlyn got the rose after all. After everyone had climbed into their tents, Ashley I. went in to see Chris and tell him all about her past. She didn’t outright say that she was a virgin, but she used the word “innocent” multiple times, but he was half asleep and she was basically on top of him, so I don’t think he got the gist.
Back at the mansion, the remaining girls were waiting to see if the sisters showed up… and they did. Jillian, who was passed out (ass out) came in to meet the sisters, who explained that they get to pick the lucky lady who goes on the only one-on-one date of the episode. Whitney was the first one up, followed by Britt and the rest of the ladies. When it came to Jade, she was quiet, but seemed to be answering the panel the right way. During her interrogation, Carly admitted that she hasn’t had very nice guys in her life so far and then the sisters went on their merry way. While the girls were prepping their dinner with have the crew camping, the date card arrived for shy gal (and emotional) Jade, who got her date card… without Chris knowing.
When all the girls were back together, Ashley I. was being a poor sport that she didn’t get the one-on-one date, because she’s basically a princess and it’s a princess-themed date. Shaddapppppp. Jade was whisked away by a team of fairy godmothers to get ready for her date, including trying on tons of gorgeous dresses, including some real glass Loubi slippers (while Ashley I. was sulking in the background). Dripping in diamonds, off Jade went for her date with her Prince Farming. Farmer Chris was getting his moves on preparing for his date where he was going to take the woman of his sisters’ choosing to a formal ball, in the spirit of Cinderella (the cross-promotion was annoying). He seemed happy with his surprise while the two had a romantic candlelit dinner and Jade divulged some of her background being engaged before. While the two got to know each other better, Chris was liking what he saw in Jade more and more and gave her the rose that had been looming over the entire date. While a full orchestra played, Chris and Jade twirled in a ballroom they had all to themselves. After their waltz, at the stroke of midnight, Chris kissed Jade and off she went to her Rolls Royce carriage back to the land of the crazy jealous stepsisters.
At the mansion, Ashley I. showed off the gown that she’d brought specifically for a princess-themed date while the other girls relaxed and kinda made fun of her. She went on and on and on and on about how she deserved that date instead and, the way she was asking, she probably did because she was playing the bratty princess role all too well.
Nikki, Jillian, Whitney, Carly, Britt and Becca were on the last group date and they were presented with some wedding dresses… only to find out they had to trudge through the mud in them in a Tough Mudder-style obstacle course (please, not the dresses!). Jillian, who was pouting about the seemingly girly nature of the date, was in her element, and all the girls got their game faces on when they were told the winner got a solo date with Chris. While some of the girls jumped ship, Jillian kept going and ran that course until the end. All cleaned up without a trace of mud, Jillian and Chris went on their solo date in San Francisco and Chris tried to see where she wanted to be in the next couple years and she really had no clue. Jillian monopolized most of the conversation and it seemed that Chris was having a hard time following, his mind wandering to “unicorns and dancing fairies.” Holding the rose in his hand, Chris tried to tell the wildly inappropriate Jillian that their goals weren’t quite on the same page. Always the competitor, Jillian was pretty pissed she didn’t win this round, but in the end, Chris sent her and her guns packing.
With Jillian gone, the ladies realized how high the stakes were at the cocktail party, and each lady was stepping up their game. Megan played a game of the senses with Chris and then Ashley I. pulled him aside to tell him point-blank that he’s walking in virgin territory, hoping it would make her seem more like wifey material. When she finally told him, he was blindsided, but supportive. He didn’t kiss her and it made her freak out that he was freaking out, which sent her into a tailspin of tears while he was off locking lips with Carly. So while Ashley I. was off splashing her virginity around the house, Becca quietly admitted she’s one too, but did it in a much more tasteful fashion that you actually believe here. Either way, Chris doesn’t know about her yet. Kaitlyn and Chris were smooching while Britt was having some doubts about their relationship, which she brought up when she finally got some time with him. She basically asked why Chris is encouraging the behaviour of some of the girls’ more unfavourable actions, but he took it the wrong way and saw it as her questioning his intentions. “Handling it like a man,” Chris took it to the group to state that if anyone is going to question his intentions or integrity, they know where the door is. Way to go, Britt.
Even though the dramatic Ashley I. and Britt were panicking, in the end, Juelia, Nikki and Ashley S. got sent home. Even though Chris liked Juelia, that feeling wasn’t there, and to be fair to her and her daughter, he sent her home, unfortunately in tears.
Coming up roses: Kaitlyn, Jade, Whitney, Carly, Megan, Samantha, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Becca, Ashley I. and Britt.
Kiss count: Kaitlyn, Ashley S., Ashley I., Carly (Episode – 4; Season – 19)
Cry count: Carly, Jade, Jillian, Ashley I., Juelia (Episode – 5; Season – 18)
Catfight count: Still none… slow season.
Bachelorettes to watch: Britt, Ashley I., Kaitlyn, Whitney
