The #SuperBloodMoon Was A Bust So Let’s Talk About It

What a buzzkill. I mean, seriously. You gather your coven, your crystals, your sage and whatever candles mean something of interest to you, and you get what? Clouds. Hours and hours of clouds, more clouds, and finally a very low-quality live-feed you and your best friend try to watch while your hopes and dreams come crashing down.

The Super Blood Moon was a goddamn bust.

Now don’t get me wrong: I’m not mad at the moon. I’m mad at the sky, and I’m mad at NASA who couldn’t do anything about the sky, and I’m mad at myself for suggesting my friend and I not check to see if the wood we were burning outside was treated because my chest hurts a bit from the smoke and blue flames and I’m a little concerned, TBH. Also, I’m mad because I missed #history and thus deprived myself of the following rituals:

– Saying “blood on the moon” repeatedly like Nicole Kidman in Practical Magic

– Realizing I don’t have my Tiger’s Eye like Nicole Kidman in Practical Magic

– Going back for my Tiger’s Eye and coming face to face with Goran Visnjic like Nicole Kidman in Practical Magic (minus the murdering, duh)

– Channeling and/or harnessing the moon’s power for my personal use

– Saying, “Look at the moon!” like a weirdo until everybody in the neighbourhood comes outside

– Sitting on the roof and gazing up at the moon and screaming, “What a time to be alive”

– Moon-inspired makeup (yet to be invented — blame the clouds)

– Winking at the moon and the moon winking back

– Taking the only good Instagram photo of the moon and finding my second career as a person who takes very cool Instagram photos (maybe of moons and maybe of other things)


And if you think this has nothing to do with pop culture or fashion or beauty, think again, friends. First, the Super Blood Moon was on the same level as the Super Bowl (thank you very much), in that its hashtag included an Emoji of a tiny moon. Second, this tweet. Lastly? We are all thirsty as hell for moon magic — at least according to the TV/movie surge involving witchcraft and wizardry. The Super Blood Moon could’ve played further into our embracement of all things supernatural and/or spiritual and/or anything you want the moon to represent. But instead we got nothing. We got clouds. Clouds! The very thing we are staring at today.

So if you see anybody today who looks particularly forlorn or like they’d like to walk stoically into the sea, you can blame the complete lack of Super Blood Moon. Earth’s revenge, I guess, for everything we’re doing to her. But still: some of us brought a DVD of Practical Magic to certain friends’ houses, and I can now confirm there’s nothing sadder than putting that DVD back on the shelf in an act of defeat, knowing the next time you say “Blood on the moon,” it will probably mean Goran Visnjic is hiding in the back of your car.

Tags: Anne T. Donahue, Super Blood Moon

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