Having a relationship exit plan is like watching the Bachelor, or wearing fake lashes – everyone’s doing it, so you might as well just give in already. So, it’s the new year and you really thought this relationship was going to go the distance. Unfortunately, due to his (porn addiction/kissing your sister on New Year’s/obsessive hoarding), you’ve fallen out of love, you’re miserable, and worst of all: you’re feeling trapped.
1) you are no longer happy and you have no clue how to end the relationship.
2) you are blindsided by the other person wanting to end the relationship.
Having a plan ready in advance will save emotional energy when you’re feeling sapped from fighting, crying, or both. Zingers like “I deserve better!” can be repeated to yourself in the mirror in advance and are so much more satisfying than wailing and sobbing. And having a plan will actually minimize breakup pain, the old ‘rip that-bandaid-off’ is a much less agonizing breakup method for all involved.
If you don’t have an exit strategy, no worries. Here’s your basic starter kit:
– Save some money, especially if you are living together. You want to be able to break the lease on a moment’s notice. Have you ever tried to resume dating with your Ex still sleeping on the living room couch?
– Change your habits. No matter who’s leaving who, assume that he keeps the coffee shop, the bookstore and that awesome bakery with the crusty bread you adore. No carb nor caffeinated beverage is worth the anguish of a random run-in.
– Have a few non-mutual friends, or make a resolution to get some. A girl always needs friends who only hear their side and are unwaveringly/lopsidedly loyal. If they live in safe buildings, with reasonable rent, close to your office, make a mental note.
– Tell someone. Of course there is no need for you to publicly announce your stealthy strategic withdrawal plan. Confide in one friend, whoever has the comfiest sofa bed, who’s also willing to make you an emergency key.
Happy New Year Relationship!
