All you know is that you feel incredible when you’re with him”you’re walking on air.
Are you falling in love, or is it just lust? What’s the difference?
Matters of the heart always involve lots of questions and not a lot of clear answers. But that’s the nature of emotions; their job is to signal to us that something is going on. They aren’t supposed to tell us what that something is”that’s for us to figure out.
In the case of love, how do you know when it’s the real thing (and not the other L word)?
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself the right questions. Think about the object of your affections and consider:
¢ If we were in a fight, would I feel the same way about him?
¢ Could I let him go if I believed it was the right thing to do?
¢ Am I prepared to wait for this person if he is not ready to have sex with me yet?
¢ Do I respect and admire him? If you answered no to any of these questions, then you’re probably not in love. Love is based on trust, and answering no to any of these questions indicates that there is a lack of trust in your relationship. If you answered yes to all of these questions, then you feel very powerfully about this person and you are likely entertaining some other thoughts. Thoughts like:
¢ I want to have children with this person.
¢ I want to plan a future with this person.
¢ I want to grow old together.
You are likely telling everyone how happy you are and praising your newfound love for everything it’s doing in your life. In other words, this person has a great impact on your feelings”and not just the ones that cause you to lose sleep, stop eating and act like a giddy schoolgirl. When you’re in love, you also enjoy feelings of security, trust, hope and respect for your partner. These feelings are longer lasting. They endure long after the early, falling in love stage, and remain even when things between you and your partner are not going well.
Love should ignite a feeling that says, I want this to last and I am willing to make that happen because that’s how good this is. If you’re not feeling this way, then you’re probably experiencing the other L word.