Flirty texts, mushy voicemails and a dozen red roses at your doorstep”it’s what every girl wants, right? Sure, from the guy you’re dating, not the one that you already dated (as, in past-tense). After a break-up, some guys just don’t understand that when you say, it’s over, it means just that. So, what can you do when your ex seems to be suffering from post break-up amnesia, or has only just decided”now that you’re completely over him”that he desperately wants you back? Here’s how to handle a persistent ex that just can’t take a hint:
Nix Bad Behaviour
So, you have 230 missed calls, 45 heartfelt Facebook messages and this morning you found the guy you used to date serenading you outside your window. In the movies, this would be cute, but in real life, it’s approaching stalker territory. Okay, so his heart is broken, but he has to understand that it is, in fact, over, and he can’t harass you back into his arms. Be blunt, but not unkind, and make it clear that all the romantic gestures in the world won’t make a difference, outside of making you royally p-d off.
Don’t Give In
If you truly don’t want to get back together, don’t take him up on any of his offers for a romantic rendezvous. You’ll just be leading him on, or even worse, giving in to something you don’t really want. Keep things friendly, not flirty, if you want him to get the message.
Give Him Closure
There’s no doubt that there’s a very good reason as to why the relationship ended, but, unless he’s a complete nut job, there were also things that drew you to this guy in the first place. Romance wouldn’t be anything without the friendship it’s built on. Beyond the kissing, cuddling, and I love yous, your ex was also your pal. So if your break-up was abrupt and heated, you owe it to him to give him that chance to sort out his feelings and accept why, and that it has, indeed, ended. Choose neutral ground (stay away from your place or his), talk it out, and take some time to properly shut the book of You & Him.
Set Boundaries
So now he understands that calling you every hour is a big no-no, but seems to be keeping tabs on your dating life. Whether you decided to try to stay friends or not, your ex taking a dedicated interest in who you may or may not be seeing is never a good thing. If he sends you paranoid texts, or even worse, shows up at the same movie with a plan to sabotage your date, it may be a sign that you need to aggressively tell him to back off.
Cut the Cord
Finally, if all you efforts are wasted, and your ex seems obsessed with winning you back, you have no choice but to cut off all connection with him. Defriend him, block his number, do whatever you have to do to keep him out of your life. He needs to get over you, away from you, before things get really messy (and you need to call in a restraining order).
