Having grown up reading fairy-tales with romantic happy endings as a child, finding out as an adult that most eligible men are commitment-phobic narcissists is disappointing to say the least.
Ok, so maybe not most eligible men. But there does seem to be a rising number of guys who suffer commitment phobia. They have no intentions of settling down – ever – despite the fact they’re in long-term relationships.
So how do you know if your guy is one of them? In any relationship there are tell-tale signs as to whether or not it’s meant to last. We may not always want to recognize them of course, but this can lead to a sticky, prolonged break-up later on. If any of these signs exist in your long-term relationship, take note: they all point to his fear of commitment.
You haven’t met his parents
Meeting his parents and family signals he’s interested in keeping you around for the long term. Being excluded from his family gatherings is an indication that you don’t feature in his extended plans, or that he’s not really serious about your relationship.
You don’t share similar long-term goals
When your relationship goes from rough ‘n’ ready to long-term steady, it’s important to establish common goals. If after dating for a while his goals are still focused on what he wants as opposed to what you both want, chances are they won’t change.
He won’t make plans
Have you noticed that when you bring up a trip away next summer or attending that wedding a year from now he gets jittery? If he’s not comfortable making plans with you for the foreseeable future, he’s definitely won’t be comfortable making indefinite plans.
He’s says outright he’s not ready to settle down
Men are often candid about their desires to never settle down, but women often see this as a challenge. Don’t force the issue; would you rather marry a Tiger Woods or briefly date a George Clooney? I rest my case.
His friends are single
Being the first one of the guys to break from the pack and get serious with his girl is a big step. If he’s surrounded by his single buddies and not paying enough attention to you, this could be an indication of where his focus really is.
In most of those old fairy tales, the heroine basks in ignorant bliss. But in reality, being ignorant to the commitment phobia red flags in your relationship only results in wasted time and energy. Do some damage control sooner rather than later, because all the time spent in a dead-end relationship is time that could be spent investing in a real fairy-tale ending.
How do you feel about commitment-phobes? Do you hold out hope they’ll eventually convert, or do you cut it off as soon as you see signs?