In a long-term committed relationship, sleeping in separate bedrooms is often the result of an unfinished fight, and often something people are too embarrassed to divulge to even their closest friends. Yet this ˜arrangement’ is happening more and more amongst happily monogamous folks in an attempt to aid their relationship. Not solely reserved for fighting and ill-feelings, sleeping in separate bedrooms has become the solution to all-night snore fests, insomnia, or, simply wanting one’s own space.
So how did the one most common-yet-hushed-about sleeping arrangement become the new solution to lackluster love lives? Sleep”that’s what. According to a study conducted a few years by the University of Arizona, scientists found a direct correlation between lack of sleep and conflict between partners. A previous night’s sleep that was not satisfactory directly affected the functioning of the relationship the next day, which then subsequently affected that night’s sleep. Based on this study alone, it’s evident as to why some couples have chosen to sleep in their separate quarters”snoring, talking in one’s sleep or being smacked in the face by a partner’s uncontrollable spasm, by no means aids in blissful sleep. Think about it: sleeping in separate bedrooms eliminates the resentment held by the partner trying to get a good eight hours’ rest; while the other is freed of the guilt associated by his/her uncontrollable nighttime behaviour.
Other couples are choosing to sleep apart for different reasons; the desire for one’s own space. It is common belief, tradition and practice within Western married or monogamous relationships that sleeping apart suggests a discord between the two people. This is one reason why it’s difficult to discuss openly without judgment. But these non-conformist couples may actually be on to something; wouldn’t it be great to read your novel into the wee hours of the night while your partner vegges out in front of the TV without any complaints? Then, on nights when you desire some closeness or company you simply invite him/her into your room for the night. Yes, this arrangement may scream of a loveless longtime married relationship, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the arrangement every night. Perhaps choosing to sleep separately a couple nights a week will allow for the alone time you crave and the possibility to open up more to your partner, or, even re-create that feeling of longing you both shared in the early stages of your relationship.
Sure, sleeping separately is not the traditional practice of a married couple or maybe not your idea of happily ever after, but hey; if it injects happiness and love back into your relationship what’s the harm? Look on the bright side”you can always have sleepovers.
What are your thoughts on sleeping in separate bedrooms in a monogamous relationship? Is there ever a situation in which it could work?