No doubt if you’re reading this article you have heard one or more of the following variations: that you’re a “commitment phobe”, you’re too picky or you’re just “getting cold feet”. Maybe it happened after one date, maybe after five years, maybe just steps from the alter. Either way, we’re hear to tell you that none of these sayings are accurate. The cold, hard truth is this: some people just aren’t marriage material. So how do you know if you are?
Well, there is no definite way to tell…but these are a good place to start.
Are you a “me” or a “we”?
Knowing who you are as a person and maintaining your own identity is a huge part of being a grown up and being in a successful, healthy relationship. But if the thought of becoming one of those people who uses “we” in every possible situation, scares the you-know-what out of you, then it might be time to reevaluate whether or not you’re really ready to commit to being part of a pair.
Know if you’re settling
As a woman, it’s hard to not to fall into the “I should be getting married” trap as you get closer and closer to your 30’s. Be certain that you know for sure that you are marrying because you are in love and not because you feel like you should be. Remember, this is the person you’re going to have to spend the rest of your life with. You better make sure they are the very best person for the job.
Cross off those “to-do’s”
We all have things that we always imagined doing before we got married. Maybe you want to reach a certain position at your company or you want to backpack through Europe or to learn to speak Spanish or swim in the Great Barrier Reef. You can do all these things…and you should. Because nothing is worse than looking back and seeing your “to-do” list turned into a “I wish I had” list.
Evaluate your future
Stop and think about your future. Like really think about it. Do you see yourself happily married with 2.5 kids and a picket fence? Yes, a bit of an exaggeration, we know, but in reality, people often have a pretty good sixth sense about their true wants and needs. If you’re vision for the future doesn’t include a “better half” (and there is nothing wrong with that), then maybe it’s time to look at what your version of the future does include and focus on that instead.
Don’t feel like you have to get married
Different from the whole “settling” thing above. If you are in a happy and healthy relationship with your partner but the idea of marriage isn’t something that appeals to either of you, then don’t be afraid to just not get married. Simple as that. Maybe you’ll change your mind in the future. Maybe you won’t. Either way, do what works for you and enjoy it!