We all know we can’t always choose who we fall in love with, or even who we fall in like with. With our increasingly interconnected world, long distance relationships are more possible, more intimate and more common than ever. With the ability to instant message your man at work or see his handsome face every night on webcam, we have come a long way since the days of relying on hand-written letters (although those are still nice!). While every couple needs to navigate their own relationship roadmap, here are some starting points we discovered that can’t hurt to keep in mind.
Dos:
Be mindful of each other’s schedules. You both are busy and have your own schedule to keep up with between stolen moments of time together. Try to be as understanding as possible of each other’s commitments. You know your partner isn’t putting you second on purpose; they just have things they have to get done!
Take into account any time difference if you are in different parts of the world. Time differences can be tricky, but are not impossible. Agree that you will stay up a little later one night, if your partner doesn’t mind skipping the gym that day so you can talk for longer. It is all about compromise and mutual understanding.
Send texts, emails, and Facebook messages throughout the day so they know you are thinking of them. The lack of physical connection can sometimes be tough, but little thoughtful gestures like a mid-day text will keep things between you lovey-dovey. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know you’re thinking of them, or that you love them to bits!
Schedule special dates to keep things interesting. Talking every day is good, but try to make special dates just like you would if you were together. Watch a movie together over webcam, or make a weekly date to watch your favourite show and laugh together. It will bring you closer together, and remind you of why you fell for each other in the first place.
Plan for the future. Whether you are planning your next visit to see each other, or counting down the days until you move to the same city, looking forward is key. Planning with your partner and working through tough times will keep your connection solid and will show you what it will be like when you are together for good.
Don’ts:
Don’t close yourself off from your world. It is very easy to loose touch with friends and family when all your energy is concentrated on spending precious time talking with your partner. Keep those girlfriends and plans for family dinners; you will have more to talk to your partner about as a result.
Don’t be distracted when talking to your partner. When you manage to squeeze some time in together in the middle of a hectic week, don’t be multitasking while talking with your man. He will notice your attention is elsewhere and could get frustrated. Treat your time together like you would if he was right in front of you.
Don’t fight about the money. Sometimes long distance relationships can be pricey, and we all have those tight months where we barely get by. Don’t bicker about costs of this and that; try to split things right down the middle and help each other out when needed.
Don’t sacrifice, for nothing in return. If you are doing all the giving and none of the receiving, it may be time to reassess your relationship. Don’t sacrifice your plans or personal time, when your partner doesn’t do the same in return.
Don’t be sad when you have time together. Sure, there will be times when you will need to bawl your eyes out to your partner, but try to be as positive as you can when you get time together. It will wear down on both of you if there is always a negative energy in the conversation. Be vulnerable, but try to make the most of your situation and relationship at the time.
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