There is nothing quite as painful as learning that the person you love has violated your trust. Whether it’s a simple little lie or a full blown affair, it literally takes only seconds for the trust that a couple has build up over months or years to come crumpling down and it can take even longer for someone to learn how to trust like that again. So where do you begin then?
The first and most important step in learning to trust someone again is learning to trust yourself. You know those deep-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach feelings you get when you meet someone new or when you go back to someone who has done you wrong? Those feelings that tell you that maybe, just maybe, he isn’t the best guy out there? That maybe, just maybe, this guy is going to wrong you (whether for the first time or again)? Trust those gut feelings. Always.
Be angry and then be open
You’ve been hurt. Badly. You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to be mad as hell. So scream and cry and yell and punch a pillow, or whatever it takes, for however long it takes to reach the point where you are ready and willing to learn to trust again. The time will come as long as you are open to welcoming someone new into your life.
Stay focused on the positive
It’s important to recognize that just because this happened to you once does not mean it will happen to you again. Never assume a new relationship (or returning to an old one) will end the same way the last one did. Negative thoughts and beliefs such as these will not only attract the wrong types of people into your life, but will likely result in some very unhappy relationships. Stay focused on the positive, no matter how hard it is. It will pay off.
Don’t settle for less
You deserve to be loved and treated with respect and loyalty from your partner, every single day. When you give someone your very best, you deserve the very best in return. Do not be willing to settle for someone whose intentions might not be admirable. No matter how many ways you can justify it, they are not deserving of you.
Rebuilding trust takes time. Don’t expect it to happen over night. It is a slow and gradual process that you will have to work at every single day with your partner. But eventually, with time and patience, the trust will return and you will be all the better for the experience.