Eye candy is great and so are fun, carefree flings, but if you’re in the market for a real relationship, it’s important to find a good, steady partner and to lay any preconceived notions to rest.
Film and TV have done a great job of portraying the boyfriend-girlfriend dynamic in a certain light, but if we enter into relationships longing for completion, we’re doing everyone involved a great disservice.
Here’s why having a partner is important, and why you deserve one.
Complimented, not complete
We’ve all heard the concept of the other half discussed time and time again, but in reality, unless you see yourself as complete, you’ll never feel fulfilled regardless of who you’re dating.
It’s important to embrace yourself for the goddess you are “ she exists regardless of who you’re involved with. With this sense of confident awareness, you’ll attract somebody’s who’s equally independent and self-aware, and you’ll quickly find yourself being complimented rather than completed. Besides, we all know the best couples work to bring out best in each other and proudly display their strengths.
Strength and support
Some girls search in vain for their white knight “ but a healthy relationship is not a one-sided rescue fantasy. In reality, you’ll each have your ups and downs, and while being taken care of may seem ideal, the notion should work both ways. Though we’ve been taught that an imbalance of power is common in relationships, in partnerships, it’s not.
Think of your dynamic like an inverted V “ by leaning on each other consistently, no one’s due to fall.
Substance over style
While physical attraction is important, it is by no means the be all and end all “ just ask couples who’ve made it last for thirty or forty years.
A partner is not simply a life-size accessory. Look for compatibility in interests, humour, intellect, kindness and general life direction “ there are the elements that matter most.
Popular culture has taught us that to communicate in relationships you’ve got to be stealth, strategic and not too forward. In healthy partnerships, open communication “ as opposed to guessing games and drama “ is vital.
Don’t be seduced by the exciting dynamics between characters like Chuck and Blair or Carrie and Big “ these are interactions written by skilled writers to draw us in; they’re not meant to last.
A true partner won’t flee at the first sign of danger, and will not avoid potentially difficult conversations.