It’s not a breakup when he was never your boyfriend to begin with, but that doesn’t mean it’s any easier to part ways. Here, we give you four solutions to the grayest areas of heartbreak:
The Situation: Online dating didn’t seem like your cup of tea, until this guy sent you a message. He’s perfect: handsome, witty, interesting and communicative. Every time his name pops up in your inbox, there’s a gem of an email waiting for you. And his name is always in your inbox. Soon, e-mail isn’t fast enough for you. You’re IMing all day, you’re texting all night…and then, nothing. The guy who was this close to sweeping you off your feet has disappeared into the internet abyss from whence he came.
The Solution: Unplug. Looking at your phone more often will not will him back into communication. A digital cleanse will help you remember who you were before you fell into that rabbit hole. And you’re pretty awesome, right? Once you’ve deleted his phone number, screenname and e-mail address, feel free to go find your awesome self another chance at love.
The Situation: Wow, it’s only been three dates but you really like this guy. Like, he seems different. You connect, you know? Every date you go on exceeds even your most sky-high expectations. Between dates, he sends you clever texts messages with flirty emoticons that are somehow not cheesy coming from him. One night as he drops you off, he kisses you sweetly goodnight and tells you how much he likes you before you get out of his car. And that’s the last you ever see of him.
The Solution: Punch a pillow. Okay, now call you best friend. Then, meet her for a glass of wine and some tacos. Talk some more. Begin a mental list of the things that would have made you call it quits had this non-relationship proceeded. When he texts you in a month, gleefully tell him that you are dating someone else.
The Situation: You’ve been friends with the guy for so long, you can’t even remember when you started thinking he was the one. Either way, the guy who used to be almost a brother to you is now anything but. Every exchange you have is suddenly infused with secret signs that he is truly in love with you. Throwing caution and common sense to the wind and decide to take things beyond the friend zone. Now things are…weird, to say the least.
The Solution: What do friends do? I mean besides remembering every embarrassing detail from your college party days. They talk to each other. And that’s what you did before you decided to see him naked, right? So, take one deep, cleansing breath and clear the air. Things will either go back to normal, or you’ll need to hold auditions for a new guy friend.
The Situation: Your cute co-worker isn’t just a PowerPoint genius, he gets your jokes, knows every obscure Chris Farley reference you’ve ever made and shares your same love for indie bands. Not only does he always remember to grab you a latte when he makes a coffee run, he always makes sure to slip you a new playlist every Monday to get you through the work week, saves you a seat in meetings and walks you to your car every night. It’s pretty clear he’s the Jim to your Pam. But what’s this? While he’s spending 9-5 stopping by your desk with handfuls of peanut M&Ms and sending you pictures of baby bunnies, it turns out he spends his after-hours time with his GIRLFRIEND?!
The Solution: Keep it professional, sister. And I mean strictly professional. Your sparkling personality and razor-sharp wit aren’t to be wasted on a guy whose affections are already spoken for. Say good-bye to your work crush and hello to your work friend.
Have you had a non-breakup after a non-relationship?