Full disclosure: I’ve gotten back together with my ex. And then been dumped by my ex. So every part of me wants to tell anyone thinking of getting back with their ex one thing” don’t.
But even though I’m a little jaded right now, I know that every relationship is different and I still believe love is worth working for. As long as you consider getting back with your ex with a grain of salt (or preferably the whole table shaker) then it could work out well for you and give way to an even stronger and more fulfilling relationship.
First things first, if you’re thinking of getting back with your ex, you’re going to need to do some serious soul searching as to why you broke up. Think of the main reasons you broke up. Have those reasons changed? Or will you just be jumping back into the same problems again?
If your problem was long distance and now your ex has moved closer, the answer might be simple. However, if the reason you broke up with your ex was more along the lines of they didn’t listen to my needs properly it might be more difficult to tell if things have changed.
The only way you can tell if things have changed between you and your ex is by having an open, honest conversation. By talking honesly with each other you can make sure you’re not walking blindly into the relationship. Dig deep with each other and talk about your fears. Think of what are you scared of becoming a problem if you get back together with your ex, and gently raise these concerns with them.
Think about how long you want this relationship to last for. If you’re in it for the long run, then relationships are definitely worth trying to work for. If you’re not sure you want to fully commit to someone then it might not be worth going through the healing process together, only to decide to move on a few months later.
Once you’ve thought about how long you want the relationship to last, confronted the problems that caused your breakup, and had an open conversation with your ex to gauge whether or not these have changed, you should be equipped to make the right decision. No one else can tell you what to do. As cheesy as it sounds, only you know what love exists between you and your partner, and no one can make this decision for you.