You put yourself out there. And you ended up having your heart sauté©ed and placed neatly on a platter. Maybe you mustered up enough courage to ask out that guy at work, or maybe you put your heart and soul into a relationship only to have him not do the same. Either way, the sting of rejection is piercing and can prevent us from wanting to put our hearts on the line again. But to do so, is to live life cautiously and well, the wise ones tell us, that’s not the point.
But what to you do when the fear of rejection really does stop you from doing what you want and desire? Experts suggest, it’s more of a fear of losing the false sense of security that is called perfectionism. We live in a world that promotes perfection in most facets of life and when we fall short of that ideal, we are programmed to feel badly or negatively about that. So switch that internal dialogue and give yourself permission to stumble “ to perhaps miss the mark on a few occasions. Falling short of perfection is a reality for all of us. Give yourself a break, lighten your load and go for it.
As painful as rejection can be, it’s also chalk full of opportunities to learn. Learn more about yourself, learn what makes people tick and about what works and what doesn’t. So, take these golden nuggets of opportunity that life dropped in your lap and find the lesson. Sure, this relationship didn’t work out, but take an honest look at why not.
Step aside for a moment and imagine a world where there was only yes. Yes to promotions. Yes to relationships. Now think of the cost of that. It boils down to personal growth. Living in a world that doesn’t challenge you, throw you off course occasionally or leave you working for what you want in life, leaves you pretty limited in terms of growing as an individual. Obstacles are generally lesson makers that expand our experience in one way or the other. Be thankful for the occasional no’s that come your way.
No doubt rejection can be a bitter pill to swallow in the short term view. We often have little idea of what rejection today saves us in terms of pain or hassle tomorrow. So, the next time you are bruised by rejection, think of the ways it might enhance your life.