We all had that one friend in junior high, you know, the one who complimented your shoes and showed up the next day wearing them, went after the exact same guy you liked, even though she had called him dorky two weeks earlier, and claimed she too was a vegetarian when you decided to swear off meat? Dealing with a copycat when you’re thirteen is tough, so how do you even go about dealing with it when you’re an adult? Yes, unfortunately, the end of puberty does not necessarily mean the end of the groupie friend.
They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but feeling like a victim of identity theft can be beyond annoying. Here’s how to handle that one girlfriend, co-worker, or friend of a friend who can’t seem to stop mirroring your every move, like a tacky, counterfeit Fendi purse.
Stop and Assess
Yes, we all think we’re completely original, and one-of-a-kind, and while that’s mostly true, there are always going to be other people who share our interests, big and small. And in a way, we’ve all been copycats at some point”we have to have picked up our preferences somewhere, right? The point is, there’s a line between merely using someone as, say, style inspiration, and going all single-white-female. You need to step back and consider if your friend is just mildly annoying, as in she occasionally picks up the same tops you have”in this case, you should probably keep your mouth shut and learn to deal with the fact that you obviously have amazing taste. On the other hand, if she’s bordering on full-blown clone, and has adopted not only your hairstyle, but also your ex-boyfriend, career and life philosophy, then you may need step in.
Switch It Up
So, she shows up at work wearing the exact same Chanel nail polish shade as you, is toting the designer bag you bought last week, and has also suddenly become a yoga-enthusiast overnight. Instead of excusing yourself and sprinting to the women’s washroom to scream behind a stall, try to take this as an opportunity to change things up a little”whether it be your appearance, your hobbies or your coffee shop haunt. If she follows suit, maybe you’ll help her find new favourites, and who knows, they just might stick. The bonus: you’ll get new experiences out of it along the way. Note: this is also a sure-fire way to tell if you’ve indeed picked yourself up a full-fledged copycat.
Keep It To Yourself
If you find she’s constantly picking your brain, and spouting off your opinions and passions as if they were her own, try keeping more to yourself. As in, don’t tell her your stance on an important issue, and conveniently keep her in the dark as to where you picked up your new, gorgeous LBD.
Talk To Her
Chances are, if your friend is continually copying you, she’s most likely insecure and has problems trusting her own instincts. Being straight with her, and addressing the issue might help more than you’d expect. The key is to be gentle, but direct”in this situation, subtleties won’t get you anywhere. By talking it out, you might find that she’s been adopting your interests as a way to get to know you better, or she might not even fully recognize her own behaviour and just needs a few words from you to tone it down, or cut it out. You can also help her to look away from you, and turn to magazines, TV, art and books to form her own set of thoughts and opinions.
Ride It Out
If all else fails, the only other route is to accept the fact that you’re just that great that someone wants to be exactly like you. That isn’t too bad of a thing really, and even though it can get result in some serious teeth-grinding in the meantime, your copycat friend will eventually grow bored of you and start picking up inspiration elsewhere. It will also help if you maybe stop being available for drinks after work, or trips to the gym for a little while.
My moms boyfriends daughter who is 9 turning 10 has been copying me. I’m 11 and I get that she looks up to me but it can be annoying. First it was asking what I was was getting to drink or eat and then ordering the same thing. And then she copied me by getting beads in her hair right after I said I was getting beads in my hair. Her favorite color when I asked her when I first met her was yellow and light pink and I like lavender and as soon as I told her that she started liking that color and telling me it’s her favorite, I have a duck ringtone and she copied that too as soon as she heard it. Can I get some advice on how to deal with this but I don’t like upsetting people but I need to make this stopppp
My bff is trying to be me as she got the same top and shoes I broke my toe and the next day sgr broke her toe ( she was only faking ) and she is just coping everything I do but what u could do is get something disgusting and wear it in front of her say its the new trend then she will wear it then boom she will be reaallly embarrassed she wont copy y again because she thought u were being seriously so she will never copy uagain (hopefully ) and she will go back to ger ugly fashion
The best thing to do is dress in something ugly and she will copy and everyone will say she looks ugly but all u need to say is ‘i think she looks fine thanks ‘ and she will hopefully stop if she dosnt say ‘ hey I’ve got that top as well ‘
My friend said she had it and I said I had it first to everyone so everyone knows she is copying maybe they will tell her
You could get someone to talk to her so u font feel bad
I am much older than you and a housewife in this small town (we moved to from Toronto) here met and became friendly with me and has since copied my career and former jobs, house decorating and style. She accidentally (on purpose) runs into me all the time. I have reported this but although her obsession is borderline harassment & scares the hell out of me; it’s not illegal. When she can’t get at me and I hide or lie about my holidays, whereabouts or where I am going (she once went looking for us at our hotel while on holiday in South Carolina); that is where her stalking breaks the law.
so very much appreciated!
I drew some MLP FIM ponies for us, and she got huffy and jealous and made MORE ponies, alicorns, and they looked horrible. My friend has a awesome new manga book, she copies the main charcter EXECTLY, wanting pink hair and being a vampire. I tell her about this cool song and sing it, she goes off and starts singing it in an awful high-pitched voice ( she sings everything like this).
I am so frustrated. She crys when we try to talk to her ( spometimes it actually gets out of hand) and we all get mad. Thanks for the advice, still searching.
I drew some MLP FIM ponies for us, and she got huffy and jealous and made MORE ponies, alicorns, and they looked horrible. My friend has a awesome new manga book, she copies the main charcter EXECTLY, wanting pink hair and being a vampire. I tell her about this cool song and sing it, she goes off and starts singing it in an awful high-pitched voice ( she sings everything like this).
I am so frustrated. She crys when we try to talk to her ( spometimes it actually gets out of hand) and we all get mad. Thanks for the advice, still searching.