Use the word self-care in a sentence, you have my heart. Because as extreme and goop-like you might take the self-care trend (think: vaginal steaming) or as minimal as you are with it (think: saying “no” to an event on an eve that your body’s telling you to stay in,) it all goes back to taking care of yourself.
And like, yes! Why weren’t we doing this so openly before? Or for those of us that were, why did we do so with such a sense of guilt and worse, felt shame for doing so?
Well, hallelujah that that’s all in the past, because we are in the midst of the self-care revolution and if the trend promotes you doing you, then let’s all be trendy together and follow the masses!
And the easiest way to start taking care of ourselves isn’t putting on a face mask, or eating clean, (though those are all well and good), but about being mindful and aware of the people and things we’re surrounding ourselves with. This can be the social accounts we follow and ingest — ad nauseum — on social media, or it can be the people we hang out with, interact with and spend our valuable time with.
Because here’s the thing; if we surround ourselves with good, well-meaning, respectful, healthy-minded people and we curate exactly what it is we see popping up on our social feeds, we’re creating a strong foundation for well-being to form. If you think about yourself as a flower, you need fresh soil, sun and water to nourish yourself, to grow and to flourish.
The benefits of surrounding yourself with good people and good vibes is a feeling of connectivity, feelings of positivity within yourself, guidance and direction, and more acceptance within yourself. So let’s do just that before diving into the grander forms of self-care, to really align ourselves with a healthy place to receive.
Here are some easy to follow ways to make sure your social media feeds can be a positive experience, and to build that aforementioned foundation for well-being. Here’s a check-list of sorts I live by to live a more positive, more connected, more mindful life.
Follow women of various shapes and sizes on social: I like to follow women who are authentic and confident because those are the traits I value most in others. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a curvy woman post bikini-clad, unedited pics to allow me to feel even more comfortable in my own body, and sharing body-positive messages. Some of my faves: Katewas_, luxuriousroxy and Misfit Studio.
Follow or hang out with couples whose relationship is total #goals for you: Way back in the day, I followed Alexis Ren and Jay Alvarrez and thought these beautiful people were living the dream. But when their sloppy break up and ensuing post-break-up accusations took over my social feeds, it turned me off of both of them altogether and I deleted them. Now, instead of judging couples by their perfectly curated Insta images, I follow couples who use their social feeds to to support, motivate and respect eachother’s triumphs, and who share loving, positive, realistic moments together. I also make sure to get a hearty dose of hangs with my IRL friends and their spouses, whose relationships I admire (like Anjili Patel and Parambir Keila). I never feel like the third-wheel, because good friends don’t make you feel that way. In turn, I’m easily reminded of what a loving, respectful relationship should look like. Some of my fave couples to follow on social to act as a reminder: Sarah Hyland and Wells Adams. Jessie James Decker and Eric Decker. Natasha Koifman and Anthony Mantella. Amber Joliat and Nik Timar.
Follow the stars: When scrolling through my feed, I’m constantly charmed by the quotes that seem to appear at just the right time that I need them. I follow my fave horoscope writers, those who channel — and write about — and the moon, the stars, and the sky, spiritual people and many holistic nutritionists and wellness brands. The more positivity we see, the more we are able to think positive thoughts and share feel-good vibes. Some of my fave feel good guidance-induced accounts: The Balanced Blonde, GoddessOfChi, Chani Nicholas, Word Porm and heart_roars.
Control what you see and cut out all triggers: Is there a girl you have a frenemy-like relationship with whose Insta-stories start up after another one you’re watching (before you have a chance to flip past it so she doesn’t catch you!) or do you still monitor your ex’s online behaviour? Yeah, cut all that out. It is so easy to be negatively triggered by outside sources. But you can have control. Unfollow (or unfriend if you so wish) these peeps on social so you don’t even see them. And avoid places that bring out negative vibes or toxic behaviour, like that grungy bar that used to be your watering hole. The more aware you are of how you play a role in your feelings, the easier it is to do something about it and take control.
