Friend or Frenemy?

Do you remember that really mean girl who would always push you off the jungle gym and kick sand in your face even though she claimed she was your best friend? Everyone has had a frenemy like this at some point. Our playground days may be behind us but unfortunately, we occasionally still find ourselves in these kinds of unhealthy friendships. Here are a few tell tale signs that your relationship with your BFF has headed down Toxic Avenue:

1.It feels like you’re dating¦but you’re not. Remember that guy you dated years ago? He was clingy, needy, and jealous. He’d fly off the handle whenever you hung out with other people and insisted you do everything together. That guy was crazy. This friendship feels exactly like this however, without the perk of great sex that usually comes along with dating someone who is slightly unhinged. Seriously, what’s the point?

2. It feels like you’re their therapist. You’re starting to notice that this friendship has become extremely one-sided. They talk incessantly about themselves and every minute drama in their life while you patiently listen to them without getting a word in edge-wise.

You can’t remember the last time they asked you anything about yourself. It’s getting to the point where you feel emotionally drained every time you hang out. Remember, there is a reason why therapists are paid generously.

3. They’re a Debbie-Downer: Everything that comes out of their mouth is negative. And, we mean everything. When they aren’t talking about how much life sucks, they are gossiping about other people and cutting them to shreds. Friendship should be fun. This person is about as much fun as stabbing your eyes with the drink stir that came with the Martini that she has already sent back to the bartender three times.

4.They’re a Saboteur: this person has mastered the art of the backhanded insult. If your friend has ever said anything to you like If you lost 20 pounds, you’d make an amazing Plus Sized Model, then you know you are dealing with a Saboteur. Other signs would be that you feel like they are always shooting down your ideas or you never feel good about yourself whenever you hang out.

5. You get a sense that no one can stand them: They are rude to your friends. They are rude to your boyfriend. They are rude to your family. People in the service industry actually run away in fear whenever they approach. When organizing a get-together, people ask you Are you inviting so and so? while giving you a pained look. This person is a jerk. No one likes them (for good reason) and neither should you.

6. You get a sinking feeling every time you see their name on your caller ID: You should want to hang out with your friends. If you’re avoiding their calls or putting off seeing them because you dread the experience, then this is the last straw.

If any of these points sound remotely familiar it may be time to pull the plug on this toxic friendship. Press Eject and never look back. 

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Tags: Bad relationships, frenemy, girlfriends, toxic friendships

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Comments

  1. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    OMG – I have the same sibling – yes what are we suppose to do?
  2. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    What advise can you give if I know someone who possessess all of those traits but there a family member (sibling)!!!!!!!
  3. Avatar
    • Marisa Baratta
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    The part about the drink stir stick from the martini was greatly put (well written) and funny, hehe.
  4. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    OMG – I have the same sibling – yes what are we suppose to do?
  5. Avatar
    • Anonymous
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    What advise can you give if I know someone who possessess all of those traits but there a family member (sibling)!!!!!!!
  6. Avatar
    • Marisa Baratta
    • January 1, 1970
    Reply
    The part about the drink stir stick from the martini was greatly put (well written) and funny, hehe.

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