My first dates have started to feel like job interviews.
You know the drill: wear something you wouldn’t normally wear, rehearse clever lines in the mirror while smearing on a little more makeup than usual, and when you meet, a serious game of twenty questions ensues, only to end the night analyzing and replaying it back (oops, maybe I shouldn’t have told him about the little sweaters I knit for my cats?). And, you’re left wondering: Am I going to get the call back for a second interview, ahem, date?
After careful examination I have reworked my dating strategy to be a little more me, and a little less me applying for a man. Here’s how:
1. Less HR questions, more stories:
To avoid the inevitable game of 20 questions, I now work all personal details into stories. Recently I told a story about a trip I took. I mentioned a few names of the people I went with, told him it was a nice break to get away from my job (insert job title), and suggested what book I would have caught up on had I not been getting tipsy with my friends reading trash-mags the whole time. See what I did there? In one story (that wooed him with my feminine wiles and clever jokes) I told him who my friends were, demonstrated that I like to travel, offered up what I do for a living, and let him know what I’d like my taste in literature to be.
2. Say N.O. to getting too gussied up:
I totally get that I should put my best face forward on the first date – but c’mon, let’s be serious – if I am going to potentially get several call backs, what are the chances of me looking as hot as I did that first night over and over again? I’d say about as slim as Lindsay Lohan. So I don’t spend hours rifling through the closet for that perfect outfit anymore “ I wear what I would normally wear out. I feel more comfortable, am consequently more charming, and, go figure, sexy. Whoa.
3. Take it out of the office:
If all of my HR interviews happened somewhere I felt totally at-home, I would have a whole-lotta-job offers. Same thing goes for dates: if it’s an environment that’s stiff, or a place that I don’t frequent, I act unnatural “ fumbling over words, and feel awkward. Instead, now I try to pick the place or the activity. Just a hint: it’s beneficial to pick somewhere you know the bar-maid; that way she can bail you out if the dude’s real-life resumé© falls short of his Ryan Gosling-like online profile.