Warning: The following may not be suitable for the fresh, optimistic singleton. Just when you thought the oughties dating scene couldn’t possibly get any more complicated, four (!) new dating lows:
1. The mass “fishing” text
Crime: The text equivalent of a booty call. Sender is usually drunk, and looking for sex at the end of the night. Usually received around 2am or last call, does not address you by name, along the lines of: “U up?” or ” R U around tonight?” Translation: “I am drunk and need to get laid.” Obviously sent to multiple contacts to maximize the odds of getting a positive response.
Usual suspects: That guy you met online, all text no personality; Lonely recent ex-boyfriends.
2. Skype FIRST dates
Crime: Users meet online for video “dates”. The advantage of Skype dating is that users can go on dates from home. Heck, they don’t even need to shower, and they definitely won’t have to worry about paying for your drink. Obvious disadvantage is that you don’t actually meet one another. Amusing twist, Skype speed dating: “Fun, fast, free” runs every 6 minutes. You know what they say, a guy lasts as long in bed as he spends on a date…
Usual Suspects: Cheapskates, lazy bums, and the cripplingly shy.
3. The accidental sext
Crime: The text equivalent of the hand-passed note to the wrong person. Sender is not usually drunk, just texting multiple people at a time, potentially distracted by video game or sport on TV. Usually received during course of normal “So tired, bsy day @wrk” texting, out of blue raunchy content along the lines of: “Wish I was ur vibrator”… sender usually realizes and tries to recover, but the fatal mix-up exposes his dual pervy identity.
Usual Suspects: Recent casual date; Flirtatious potential online match.
4. Twitter TMI
Crime: Alcohol-induced tweeting might unexpectedly bring out a guy’s rye-fueled sentimentality, and what was meant to be a Direct Message shows up in all of your follower’s Twitter feeds: “U are tha mos beutiful gurl I hev aver seen” Awkward! Once sober, he may try to cover his embarassing oversharing by making the first tweet seem like a joke – sadly, he’s already revealed himself to be a desperate loser.
Usual Suspects: Guy friend, ballsy with liquid courage; That guy you thought about dating but decided against, obviously still smitten.
*Have you or someone you know been the victim of any of these new-age dating lows? Even better, have you even been a perpetrator of any of the above? We want to hear your story!