We live in the age of judging a book (human) by its cover (dating profile).
It has been well over a decade since Burger uttered those fateful words to Miranda; He's just not that into you. And while this sage advice lives on through the ages, you may have noticed that a lot has changed in the world of dating and relationships since then (other than the fact that I was 14 when that happened, obvs).
The self-help genre's heyday sparked in the mid-'90s when men were from Mars and women were from Venus. It was a simpler time when singles were happy to be put into a planetary binary and online dating was still taboo. Today's singles know that it's cool to be from Neptune or Mercury (Pluto is another story¦) and are well versed in the worlds of Tinder, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Match.com, eHarmony, Zoosk, Happn, Grindr, Bumble¦ I could go on. You can't throw a smartphone these days without hitting a couple who met using the help of that magic we call Internet.
Great dates (and great dating advice -- we got you, boo) are readily available online. For an in-depth look at the relationship situation as a whole (but actually from a heterosexual-lady-perspective, because that is who I am -- get at me with book recommendations for your relationship style!), these books about dating are everything you need.
No matter your dating style, there is always something new to learn and I am a firm believer that you should know yourself in order to let others know you.
Now go work your Tinder game and get it, girl.
You can go and love yourself
Justin Bieber references aside, we aren’t all out here for the be-all-end-all, found-my-soulmate-gonna-get-married kind of relationship. Remember that being single is a choice (it is for this gal, anyway).
As women, the idea of getting married and living happily ever after is drilled into us from birth. And while there is significant value for many in monogamous relationships, what they don’t tell you is that it is definitely not for everyone. Spinster: Making a Life of One’s Own by Kate Bolick shows the author’s personal journey to loving the single life and truly having it all. Best of all, she lets you know that you can do it, too.
Another place to look (if you aren’t too keen on the monogamy thing) is to Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy in The Ethical Slut: A Roadmap for Relationship Pioneers. Easton and Hardy give you usable tools for issues that come up in less traditional relationships. Dealing with things like jealousy, boundaries and conflict resolution, a lot of the info that Easton and Hardy provide can really work wonders in any type of relationship.
