On Friday, multiple sources confirmed that everything we heard is true: Kylie Jenner is having a baby with boyfriend Travis Scott.
Which, like, sure. I mean, without actual confirmation from the Jenners/Kardashians, I’m still just saying “Really?” into the abyss. Second, what does this mean for us? As in, what does it mean for you and I, those fluent in celebrity news and/or gossip? It has to mean something . . . right?
The thing is, we don’t technically care about Kylie Jenner-as-a-mother. None of us sat around discussing what her parenting style will be, nor whether she’ll join the PTA. I didn’t pull my car over to ask my friends whether Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner are going to use one of Kourtney’s cribs, or whether they’re going to deck out the nursery in a furniture scheme entirely their own. I didn’t stop the speeches at my friend’s wedding to say that Kylie and Travis are in terrific financial situations, and that most of Kylie’s cars will fit a carseat perfectly. The kid will be fine. Why wouldn’t they be? We’ve seen from Kourtney and Kim’s own parenting styles that there’s a real support system put in place in terms of child-rearing. So congrats.
Arguably, we’re still enamoured with the idea of Kylie being pregnant because we love speculation. And with Jenner refusing to confirm or deny (while posting photos of her stomach — kind of?) she’s leaving space for us to push our own narratives, to make assumptions, and to project our own ideals onto whatever this situation is (or is not — because again, no one’s confirmed anything).
Which is why we’re still talking about the Kardashian-Jenners ten years after their series began: they’re media masterminds. And they give us the 2017 equivalent of a TV soap opera, simply by choosing what to share what not to. So Kylie’s pregnancy, while exciting for her and Travis (I mean, I’ll assume — because why not), is a new season in a series rich in largely manufactured drama. Because for every newsworthy event, every massive life update, or every actual Very Special Episode, KUWTK has dozens of less-exciting developments used to keep us tuned in until something of value happens.
And when something finally does, it’s drawn out. We talk about it amongst ourselves, we watch new episodes, hoping our questions will finally be answered, we read about it, deep dive on Instagram, read between the tweets, getting further and further intwined with the Kardashian-Jenner story until we’re so consumed that we feel like we’re a part of it.
Which is where Kylie Jenner’s baby news comes in. Is it cool that she’s having a kid? Sure. (Live your life, girl.) But what we’re actually into is the mystery around it, the is-she/isn’t-she, the (fabricated) drama that will 100% arise and then dissipate, as though it was never reported. We’re here for the rumours that have zero truth, for the unnamed sources, and for the Lip Kits that I assume will be inspired by this new life stage. (Or at least I hope so.) Because when the Kardashian-Jenner camp issues life-changing news, it’s big for them obviously, but we thirst over it because it ends up convincing us that our lives have changed too.
Even though, for the record, they haven’t. But that’s what a good soap opera’s for, anyway.