After last week’s “shocking” ending (we’re using that term loosely after this many seasons in The Bachelor franchise), things took a different turn, leaving Chris the Cupcake devastated on the side of a cliff, and the other guys vying for one of three roses leading to both the fantasy suite and hometown dates.
The date card arrived for Ben and his solo date with Kaitlyn while Shawn continued to stew and Nick continued to be… well, Nick. The two rowed a little boat over to a private island and played hide-and-go-seek (the real game–not the sexy version) and after they had some laughs, they kissed and talked a bit more about the whole process and all that (it feels like Kaitlyn is still in the “getting to know each other” stage with so many guys), but Kaitlyn said that Ben was “husband material.” Kaitlyn explained that she can be hard to deal with but she wants someone who’s still going to put up with her 20 years from now (and then cash her in for a younger model after two decades? Or is she doing the upgrading?). Everything was going fine until Ben said that he just wants to “stay up all night and talk” in the fantasy suite–and was dead serious–which prompted Kaitlyn’s next question: “Are you a virgin?” Thankfully, he said no (phew!), but still wanted to just talk if he made it to the overnight dates.
At the hotel, Joe, Shawn and Nick got the next date card, leaving Jared without a date at all. Shawn was the first one to pull Kaitlyn away, no longer willing to slow things down after taking a backseat over the past week and wasted no time kissing her. Even though Shawn was feeling good about moving forward, Kaitlyn was getting ready to drop the Nick-sex bomb on him, hoping it would help(?) his trust. But just then, in came the troublemaker to break up their time and sneak in some of his own. Luckily for everybody watching, Kaitlyn seemed stressed talking to Nick (like all of us feel EVERY TIME HE COMES ON-SCREEN) about their night together. While Nick and Kaitlyn had started kissing (she wasn’t stressed for long), Joe seemed to stressing out–especially when he realized that Shawn had some of Kaitlyn’s lip gloss on his face (yuck). Kaitlyn pulled Joe aside for some time alone and to see what kind of lip gloss Kaitlyn was rocking (there may not have been any left, truthfully). Joe professed his love to Kaitlyn as though he were singing her a country song but Kaitlyn didn’t seem to be feeling quite the same way… especially because she said it was “flattering.” After Joe said all those wonderful things and they kissed some more, Kaitlyn explained that they’re maybe not on the same page… Yikes. Poor Joe just seemed to shut down immediately, prompting Kaitlyn to say the most insensitive thing of life: “I needed you to put yourself out there to see if I felt the same way.” Wait, wut? It was one of the most uncomfortable conversations to watch. After all was said and done, Kaitlyn just didn’t feel like handing out a rose, but asked Shawn to hang out with her later.
Back at the hotel, Nick was finally getting some nerves, over-analyzing the fact that Kaitlyn asked for “more time” with Shawn and not him. Shawn was obviously happy he was getting more time with Kaitlyn, but he had no clue what Kaitlyn was trying to say–mostly because she couldn’t spit it out. Fiiiiiiinally she told him and Shawn truly looked like he was going to cry. He asked her if she regretted it, she gave him a noncommittal answer. He wondered why she was telling him now, she gave him a noncommittal answer. After a minute to collect himself, Shawn came back and thanked Kaitlyn for her honesty and told her that even though he obviously doesn’t like Nick or the news of them, he’s going to “man up” and deal with it.
When Shawn got back to the room, Nick had no idea that Shawn was in the know, but when Nick started running his mouth about how he was upset that Shawn got some extra alone time, Shawn looked like he was getting a bit ragey (we were not-so-secretly hoping he would hulk out of his shirt and be all like “Hey girl, Imma punch Nick in the face,” but, alas, he didn’t). In walked Chris Harrison with more news, telling the guys that there wasn’t going to be any cocktail party, but they were going right to the rose ceremony and onward to overnight dates. Kaitlyn called Shawn first, but he (true to Shawn form) had some questions for her that he needed answering, NOW, DAMMIT! He asked her again why she said he was the one and then turn around and have sex with someone else, and she gave him a perfect answer saying she’s there to explore other relationships because she doesn’t plan on exploring other relationships after the fact. And because apparently Shawn just wants his ego stroked or is a masochist or something, he took the rose and moved on to fantasy suite dates. Sadly, sweet little Jared got sent home before he even had another shot with Kaitlyn–but it’s not his fault. Kaitlyn really just likes a guy who can commit to facial hair or no facial hair–she can’t handle the in-betweeners, no matter how cute they are.
Nick had the first fantasy suite date and Kaitlyn’s main focus was to see if they had more than just passion together… and then they went into a church, furthering their “spiritual” connection (blech). Later in their date, Nick started running his mouth, suggesting that Shawn screwed multiple women in one night, which just made him even more snivelling than before and further their whole back-and-forth “he did this” and “he did that” bullshit that Shawn and Nick have been doing. Weirdly enough, Nick calling Shawn out made Kaitlyn like him more…? When the question of the overnight suite came up, they obviously both said yes and Kaitlyn tricked Nick into thinking they were staying in a dank jail cell overnight. They went into their real fantasy suite and got the night underway with lots of kissing. They didn’t quite say that they did it, but based on their morning interactions, it seemed as though they did more than just talk again. Back at the hotel, Shawn went to go talk to Nick… and tell him how he felt to his face instead of behind his back. Basically Shawn just went there to tell Nick he thinks he’s stupid (like the gentleman he is?). Their boy-drama started to heat up… and then it said “To be continued…” WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO US EVERY. SINGLE. WEEEEEEK?!
…But in case you’re interested in the whole Britt/Brady saga, they’re trying the long-distance thing and they’re hopeful. Aw.
Coming up roses: Shawn, Ben, Nick
Hookup count: Nick? (Episode “ 1; Season “ 2)
Kiss count: Ben, Shawn, Nick, Joe (Episode “ 3; Season “ 34)
Cry count: Kaitlyn, Shawn (almost–the tears were there), Jared (Episode “ 3; Season “ 12)
Bachelors to watch: Shawn and Nick
