We’re down to the final five, which means we’re SO CLOSE to hometown dates. But, before we get to that, we have some questions.
1. What is Marrakech like this time of year? Should I book a trip?
2. Wait, is it Marrakesh or Marrakech? I need to google it. (Fun fact: both are right!)
3. Is Kevin W. a Roman or Greek god? He’s so fine.
4. Do you think Kevin P. shares Nick Viall’s scarf obsession?
5. Why do they keep zooming in on Kevin’s hands when he’s milking the cow? He’s obviously not very good at it and it’s making me uncomfortable to watch.
6. Do you think that how Kevin milks a cow is a sign for how he’s going to be in bed?
7. Should I bake bread this weekend?
8. Is this the episode of the Kevin dates?
9. Do you think Jasmine and Kevin W. are perfect for each other? (Yes.)
10. Do you think they filtered that Marrakech sunset? (Tell me yes so that I don’t get the FOMO.)
11. Can I go rock climbing?
12. Would you want to go rock climbing with someone you’re not sure you want to spend the rest of your life with? (Read: Someone not worth maaaaaaybe dying with?)
13. Are they going to be one of those outdoorsy couples?
14. Would you say they’re MoRocko climbing? (#dadjoke)
15. Does it bother anyone else that Kevin P. grabs her neck weird when they kiss?
16. How does one get a romantic seating area created for them on top of a mountain?
17. Why is this such an emotional season!?
18. Did he just ignore/turn around Jasmine’s breakup?
…Oh wait no, she didn’t go for it.
19. Remember when Cupcake Chris was dumped on the side of a cliff? What is it with this show and dumping people on cliffs/mountains/islands? SO DEPRESSING.
20. Why is Mike’s jaw so perfectly chiseled?
21. So is this like a mini rose ceremony?
22. Why does the music get so dramatic when someone interrupts a serious conversation? We know it’s inevitable at this point.
23. Is Mike the one? He and Jasmine are already talking living logistics.
24. WHY IS MIKHEL SO DAMN ADORABLE?!
25. Am I the only one who’s known for weeks Benoit is not the one?
26. Do you think Mikhel’s lightning bolt tattoo means he’s into Harry Potter? Because, if so, MIKHEL CALL ME.
27. Oh god, are manpris back? Please tell me they’re not.
28. Why is Benoit still saying he hasn’t had time?
28b. WHERE is Jasmine’s dress from?
29. Benoit, do you think it’s because of the suspenders? Jk. You tried. You kissed real good, but you are not
America’s Next Top Model Jasmine’s love.