If Gwyneth Paltrow ever caught wind of the amount of alcohol, sun, carbonated beverages, and pizza I inhaled this weekend she would probably have a hernia. I mean personally, I’m OK with it and live life with no regrets (except the second order of aioli fries I got at 3am on Saturday, I definitely regret those¦) but unfortunately my skin has a mind of its own, and quite like Gwyneth Paltrow, it’s #pissed.
When I woke up Monday morning it looked like a bulldozer had run over my face. Aggressive, I know, but unfortunately this is my reality people. My nose was burnt, my skin was irritated from the sand at the beach, my forehead has some nice little red bumps all over it, and my eyes were swollen and puffy. BECAUSE APPARENTLY MONDAYS AREN’T HARD ENOUGH ALREADY.
But its 2016, which means that a) Justin Trudeau can have equal gender representation in his cabinet and b) I don’t need to put up with my face’s shit anymore. When I put it that way my struggle feels a little less significant, but I stand by the fact that we live in an age where there is a cure for everything, and as I sit here with my eyes slathered in brightening cream I am a living testament to the power of modern makeup.
While I wait for this eye treatment to dry I’ve compiled a list of eye woes and their corresponding treatment so that, unlike me, you don’t need to suffer the embarrassment of having your roommate ask you if you’re having an allergic reaction as you head out the door to work.
Origins GinZing cream packs a citrus punch. Better than a cup of coffee, this cream will not only wake you up, but cure your dark circles, dullness, and puffiness.