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It’s Spring! (Please Don’t Break Out The Flip Flops…)

Today is the first day of Spring, and that means you’ve made it. You got here. You, like me, came through the darkest winter in the history of time and space, and have pulled yourself into the dawn of a new day. And that means that despite the still-freezing temperatures aside, we have reason to hope again. Because nothing lasts forever, and now, instead of me whispering that phrase to myself alone in the dark at 4 p.m. as a type of mantra, I am saying it to you as a cry of victory. Winter 2018 is over and it is never coming back. And while Spring 2018 can still morph into a blazing tire fire, it’s too early for us to declare it a roaring disaster.

Today is the first day of an era of promise.

But that said, when the going gets tough and/or the news morphs into a montage of the worst moments to have happened since any of us were born and/or it gets cold and snowy again despite it obviously being springtime, here’s what you need to remember and repeat to yourself:

There is no reason to ruin anybody’s spring by wearing flip-flops
Here’s the thing: spring is a joyous, beautiful time. And you’re ruining it by wearing flip-flops. What are you doing? You still need a jacket. Your feet are cold. You know they’re cold. This look is bad. Stop it. The person across the street from you was having a very nice day until they saw you wearing flip-flops in 7-degree weather. I know you’re excited, but why are you taking it out on us. I have some shoes in my car. Wait here while I go get them.

But for real, dress like it’s autumn and you’ll be fine
I know we all got climatized to the coldest, dampest, worst winter in recent memory, but remember the way you dressed in October and November. And dress that way. It’s chilly out, and I don’t want you to get sick. Even though you will get sick. Because . . .

Everyone gets sick in the spring, it’s okay, it’s not allergies, but you’ll be fine
For at least a month every spring, we play the game “Is it a cold or is it allergies?” And usually, it is not allergies. Usually, you are ill. And it’s fine. Use it. Use this time to cocoon for the last time before summer shows up and makes you go to the park every night like you’re a literal child. (I hate the park, I hate the park, I hate the park, but I’ll write about that another day.) Watch TV and remember that it’s not the flu because you know when it’s the flu. Drink tea, eat junk food, do that “feed a cold” thing that I’ve been repeatedly told isn’t real, but I refuse to believe it. In fact, do this even if it is allergies. Do it all the time.

Spring lasts for like, two days, so enjoy it
You will pine for this brisk March day when it’s 35 degrees in August. You will wish for nothing more than the ability to wear jeans. It is crisp, but it is bright, and walking to get a coffee won’t submerge you in heat stroke. In like, two weeks, it will be so hot you will wonder why you didn’t revel in post-St. Patrick’s Day temps. So this is me telling you to do just that. Never doubt me. I am never wrong.

Remember that if you could make it through winter 2018, you can make it through anything
Anything. You can make it through anything. I didn’t speak to a single person who chalked up winter 2018 as a banner time. Most of us are actively trying to forget it even now. But look: you escaped! And here you are! And any time you find yourself wondering whether or not you get yourself out of the next shitstorm, remember that you not only can, but you did. Winter 2018 was cruel and mean. And you defeated it mercilessly.

Main image via Olivia and Alice.

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