So you’ve got a new boyfriend. It’s so serious that you’re willing to go Facebook Official. He’s cute. He laughs at your jokes and hangs out with your crazy friends like a good sport. He’s basically a Taylor Swift song with a happy ending. And yet you find yourself faltering when people ask how you met, struggling to explain that you first laid eyes on him in the comfort of your own bed, that the glow of your laptop revealed a glimmer in his eye you could not ignore, that his favorite quotes weren’t too annoying and he met your height and location requirements.
I just want to let you know that no matter what your aunt says, it’s just fine that you met him on the internet. Don’t believe me? Then you need to listen up to this pep talk:
It’s not embarrassing!
Accidentally mistaking someone for a meth dealer is embarrassing. Dropping a pair of dirty panties out of your purse in front of someone is embarrassing. Pooping your pants on public transportation is embarrassing. Meeting your potential life partner at a place where people can get an MBA, purchase a case of champagne or find their long-lost twin sister is NOT embarrassing. It’s incredible! You found your needle in the most crowded haystack ever known. In your FACE, girl-who-met-her-husband-in-ninth-grade! You only picked from a pool of like, 200!
The internet is actually offended that you are embarrassed by how you met, and will no longer serve you tasty videos of kittens riding on turtles. Are you happy now? Fine, tell people you met at a coffee shop.
Everyone is doing it!
Seriously, didn’t you see about ten guys you went to grammar school with when you were browsing through profiles? Didn’t you start to see a flash of recognition in the eyes of strange men on the streets, as they recognized you as CatPalace82 (not a profile name this author has used. Yes, it is) recognize strangers on the street as guys you had rejected just a few days earlier? Don’t you watch the television commercials that tell you that 105% of relationships start online? Do you think that statistics have ever lied to us? They haven’t.
It doesn’t matter anyway!
Too much is made of a relationship’s origin story of a relationship. How you met is hardly important, so making up a fancy story about how you met while walking your dogs through a park that just happens to be equidistant from your apartments is just a waste of your precious time. Anyone who looks at you funny for finding your dude on the Internet clearly doesn’t understand that online dating is the same as shopping online for shoes. Does anyone judge you when you say oh I knew I was looking for a mid-heel in patent leather that would go with everything, so I just went online and ordered. Of course not! They applaud you for knowing what you wanted and efficiently facilitating.