When Ross and Rachel broke up (or were on a ˜break’¦whatever) they were obviously in an awkward position. Though they shared a core group of friends (excuse the pun), they were clearly reeling from a painful breakup. So how did they manage to enjoy afternoons at Central Perk without dividing the gang? The magic of television? Maybe. But there are other ways to share mutual friends with an ex, even after a breakup. Here are a few helpful hints for sharing friends with a lost love.
Control your venting
Ragging on your ex just puts your friends in an awkward position. Simply put: don’t do it. Besides, harping about his annoying little traits and how he broke your heart will be much more cathartic if you have a wholeheartedly sympathetic ear. A mutual friend can’t provide that. Save the venting and trash talking for just your buds.
Don’t make your friends feel like the kid with divorced parents. Is he seeing anyone? How does he look? He’s miserable, right? Tell me he’s miserable! If your friends are truly friends with both of you, they probably won’t give you any or all of the information you’re looking for. So skip the questioning altogether. Besides, Facebook is a powerful tool; go online if need be.
It’s important to attend group gatherings, even if you suspect your ex might be there. If you start avoiding mutual friends, you might write yourself out of the group altogether. Let your friends know that you’re ready and able to show face at future events, even if your ex is on the guest list. A little initial awkwardness is a small price to pay for holding on to some good friends.
He might show up with a date. Maybe he’s trying to make you jealous, maybe not. Either way, keep your thoughts to yourself (see #1) and smile politely. Plan what you’re going to say to you ex ahead of time, and keep it short and sweet. It’ll be a lot less awkward than staring at your thumbs.
Take the high road
Go on; go say hello. Yes, it hurts tremendously, but taking the high road and offering out your hand will be the first step towards regaining normalcy in the group. If your friends see you reaching out, there will be less walking on eggshells and more group comradarie. Even if you two don’t feel it for each other.